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Postpartum depression is not being overly sensitive;

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it is a chemical tsunami.

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A viewer left me a message.

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He said,

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"Teacher,

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my partner developed severe postpartum depression six months ago.

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She is constantly suicidal,

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suffering from insomnia,

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headaches,

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and diarrhea.

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She often has emotional breakdowns and cries.

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Our relationship is very strained."

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He asked me,

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"Will you make a video about this?"

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After reading that message,

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my heart felt heavy for a long time.

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Because I know

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that what he described isn't just one person's story.

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It is what millions of families are experiencing right now.

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Globally,

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about 17% of postpartum women experience

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varying degrees of postpartum depression.

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In China,

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this ratio might be even higher

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because many mild and moderate cases go completely unidentified.

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They are silenced by being called "dramatic."

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Hello,

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everyone.

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I am Wang Lijie.

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Today, I'm making a two-part series.

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This episode

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is for mothers going through postpartum depression.

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The next episode

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is for the person by her side—

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her partner.

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If you are watching this video right now,

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holding your child in your arms,

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or if the child was just sent to the grandparents' house,

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and your eyes are red,

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your chest feels like it's being crushed by a stone,

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and you feel like you don't deserve to be a mother,

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or that your child would be better off without you,

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or even that living itself is a burden—

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I need you to remember one thing first.

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This sentence is the core conclusion of today's video.

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I'll put it out there first:

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You are not broken.

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Your brain

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is undergoing the most violent chemical reset in human physiology.

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How you feel right now

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is not a reflection of your personality,

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nor your ability,

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nor a lack of love.

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It is your nervous system experiencing a magnitude 9 earthquake.

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Let's break this down layer by layer.

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The first layer:

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What exactly is happening to your body?

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During pregnancy,

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two key hormones in your body soar uncontrollably.

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One is progesterone,

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and the other is estrogen.

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By the third trimester,

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their concentrations are 100 to 1,000 times higher than normal levels.

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Remember this number:

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100 to 1,000 times.

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This isn't a fluctuation of a few percent;

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it is a spike of several orders of magnitude.

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These two hormones don't just cause weight gain and nausea;

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they act directly on your brain.

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Progesterone has a metabolite in the brain

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called Allopregnanolone.

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You don't need to remember the name.

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You only need to know one thing:

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its effect is almost identical to a sedative.

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It acts directly on a "switch" in your brain

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called the GABA receptor.

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What is the GABA receptor?

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It's your brain's braking system.

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Allopregnanolone acts like a super-efficient brake pad,

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installed for nine months.

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Your anxiety was suppressed.

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Your fears were buffered.

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Your entire nervous system was soaked in a pool of natural sedatives.

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What about estrogen?

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It regulates the synthesis of serotonin.

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Serotonin is the neurotransmitter that makes you feel

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like life is manageable.

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In late pregnancy,

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your serotonin production line was running at full power.

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That's why many pregnant women say

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that despite being physically heavy in the third trimester,

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their mood is actually quite stable,

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even feeling a strange sense of peace.

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That's not maternal love kicking in early;

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it's your brain being protected by a chemical defense system.

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Then,

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the baby is born.

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Within 24 to 48 hours after delivery,

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your progesterone and estrogen levels plummet off a cliff,

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dropping from their peak to almost zero.

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The speed and magnitude of this drop

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is the most drastic hormonal shift known in human physiology.

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Period.

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Imagine this:

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if you had been taking Valium for nine months,

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and then one day,

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without warning,

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without any transition period,

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you just stopped completely.

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What would happen to your body?

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Insomnia,

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heart palpitations,

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general malaise,

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panic attacks,

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and total loss of emotional control.

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This is exactly what your body goes through postpartum.

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You think you're mentally weak?

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You're not.

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Your nervous system is experiencing a chemical withdrawal.

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And the timing of this withdrawal

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is the cruelest design in human evolutionary history.

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Just as your chemical defense system withdraws,

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you begin a life of fragmented sleep.

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Newborns need to feed every two to three hours.

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Your deep sleep is repeatedly interrupted.

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Yet deep sleep is the only window for the brain to clear metabolic waste,

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repair neural circuits, and rebuild emotional stability.

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Sleep deprivation is categorized as torture in military interrogations.

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Its damage to the brain is measurable.

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Chronic lack of sleep causes your amygdala—

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the fear alarm center in your brain—

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to react over 60% more intensely to negative stimuli.

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At the same time,

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the prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational regulation, declines.

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In plain English:

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your fear is amplified,

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while your ability to control that fear is weakened.

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Your chemical defense is gone;

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your sleep repair channel is blocked.

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These aren't two separate blows;

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it's a vicious cycle.

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Hormonal imbalance makes you unable to sleep;

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lack of sleep further disrupts your hormones;

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the disruption makes you more anxious;

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the anxiety makes you even more sleepless.

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It's a spiral

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spinning faster and faster.

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In 2019,

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the FDA approved the first drug in history specifically for

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postpartum depression,

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called Brexanolone.

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In 2023, they approved a second one,

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called Zuranolone.

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Guess how these two drugs work?

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They artificially supplement allopregnanolone.

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They replace the natural sedative that your body stopped producing.

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What does this mean?

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It means modern pharmacology has proven with hard evidence

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that a key mechanism of postpartum depression is chemical withdrawal.

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It is not a personality flaw.

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It's not a matter of willpower.

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The chemical ingredients in your brain were suddenly drained.

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But that's only the first layer.

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There is a second layer.

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In 2017,

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Professor Hoekzema from Leiden University in the Netherlands,

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published a study in "Nature Neuroscience" that shocked the academic world.

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Her team scanned the brains of twenty-five women before pregnancy

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and after childbirth.

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The results showed that

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becoming a mother

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causes massive structural changes in maternal gray matter.

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Notice this:

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It's not a functional change,

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it's a structural change.

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Physically, things have changed.

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The areas with the most significant changes

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are those responsible for social cognition;

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the medial prefrontal cortex,

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the posterior cingulate,

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the temporal lobe,

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and several other key nodes.

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These areas help you interpret others' expressions,

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predicting if a non-verbal infant is hungry,

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sleepy,

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or uncomfortable.

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The scale of these changes is so massive,

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that in the entire human life cycle,

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it can only be compared to puberty.

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More importantly,

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these changes last for at least two years.

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Professor Hoekzema's conclusion was that

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this is not damage;

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it's more like synaptic pruning during puberty.

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The brain is undergoing a large-scale re-specialization,

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concentrating computing resources on the highest priority task:

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"taking care of this new life."

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But the problem is,

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this reconstruction doesn't happen instantly.

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During this two-year transition period,

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your brain is in an extremely unstable state of construction.

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It's like your home is being gutted and remodeled,

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while you're still living in it,

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cooking,

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doing laundry,

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breastfeeding every two hours,

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and getting less than four hours of sleep a day.

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So you're forgetful.

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Your attention is scattered.

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You feel like you've become stupid.

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Your emotions are like a roller coaster.

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You haven't become stupid.

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Your brain is doing something truly remarkable.

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The cost is that

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during this time,

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your ability to handle stress is at an all-time low.

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Chemical depletion combined with brain reconstruction—

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two layers crashing down at once.

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But the truly fatal part

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is the third layer.

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The third layer isn't physiological;

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it's psychological.

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To be precise,

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it's cultural.

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It's called shame.

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You check your phone

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and see other moms posting photos of babies on social media.

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Caption: "Thank you for this little angel coming into my world."

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Your mother-in-law says,

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"In our day, we raised three or four kids with no problem.

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How can you be like this with just one?"

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Your husband looks at you with a confused expression.

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He doesn't say anything,

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but you know what he's thinking.

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He thinks you're being dramatic.

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Your friend comes to visit you

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and says, "You need to cheer up.

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The baby is so cute;

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you should be happy!"

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Then, you start to doubt yourself.

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"Do I not love my child?"

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"Am I naturally unfit to be a mother?"

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"Do I have some fundamental flaw?"

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These three thoughts

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are the core cognitions most commonly reported by postpartum depression patients.

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Psychological research tells us of a very important distinction:

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Guilt and shame are two completely different things.

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Guilt is "I did a bad thing."

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Shame is "I am a bad person."

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Guilt is specific,

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directed at behavior,

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and can be repaired.

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But shame is pervasive,

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directed at the self.

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It doesn't ask you to fix a mistake;

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it makes you feel that your existence itself is a mistake.

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The areas of the brain activated by shame

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follow the same neural pathways as physical pain:

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the anterior insula and the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex.

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When you feel like a bad mother,

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your brain isn't feeling metaphorical pain.

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It's real pain, visible on an MRI,

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the exact same type of pain as if you were burned.

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And right now, your chemical defense system has withdrawn.

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The supply of allopregnanolone is cut off.

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Your natural sedative is gone.

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The serotonin synthesis line has stopped.

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Your emotional buffer is gone.

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Your brain is under construction.

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Cognitive resources are being seized on a large scale.

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Your entire nervous system is exposed and vulnerable.

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At this most fragile moment,

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socio-cultural pressures hand you a shame bomb.

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00:09:34,589 --> 00:09:36,470
Your body is screaming for help,

275
00:09:36,908 --> 00:09:38,049
but all you hear is:

276
00:09:38,428 --> 00:09:39,750
"Why are you so useless?"

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00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,089
Stop for a second.

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If you are going through this,

279
00:09:43,469 --> 00:09:45,870
please place your hand on your chest right now.

280
00:09:46,229 --> 00:09:47,750
Feel your heartbeat.

281
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,230
It's still beating.

282
00:09:49,509 --> 00:09:51,750
Under such pressure, it's still beating.

283
00:09:52,028 --> 00:09:53,710
This isn't something to take for granted.

284
00:09:54,188 --> 00:09:55,690
Hormonal withdrawal is the bullet.

285
00:09:56,389 --> 00:09:58,149
Brain remodeling is the wound.

286
00:09:58,469 --> 00:10:00,909
Shame is the infection that prevents the wound from healing.

287
00:10:01,229 --> 00:10:02,450
All three combined at once;

288
00:10:02,948 --> 00:10:04,669
anyone would break under this.

289
00:10:05,109 --> 00:10:06,429
Yet you are still here.

290
00:10:06,668 --> 00:10:08,070
You are still watching this video.

291
00:10:08,509 --> 00:10:11,190
You are still trying to understand what happened to you.

292
00:10:11,548 --> 00:10:12,629
This alone

293
00:10:12,668 --> 00:10:15,750
shows you are much stronger than you think.

294
00:10:16,109 --> 00:10:16,990
Now,

295
00:10:17,109 --> 00:10:19,789
I want to share a fact that might surprise you.

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00:10:20,149 --> 00:10:23,710
If you look at human postpartum recovery on an evolutionary scale,

297
00:10:23,788 --> 00:10:25,149
you'll discover something.

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00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:29,399
Humans are the only primates on Earth

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00:10:29,399 --> 00:10:30,350
who force mothers to raise children alone.

300
00:10:30,948 --> 00:10:33,429
Marmosets have collective family rearing.

301
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,269
Wolves have the whole pack's help.

302
00:10:35,589 --> 00:10:38,230
Elephants have grandmothers and aunts for constant company.

303
00:10:38,548 --> 00:10:40,590
Throughout the long span of human evolution,

304
00:10:40,668 --> 00:10:43,350
it was never one mother raising one child alone.

305
00:10:43,708 --> 00:10:46,509
The primitive human parenting model was village-like,

306
00:10:46,629 --> 00:10:49,509
where a child was raised by the entire tribe.

307
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:53,350
To this day, your brain is still designed for that model.

308
00:10:53,389 --> 00:10:56,750
It expects you to be surrounded by people after childbirth.

309
00:10:56,908 --> 00:10:58,190
Someone to help you cook,

310
00:10:58,229 --> 00:11:01,789
someone to hold the baby at midnight so you can sleep for two hours,

311
00:11:01,908 --> 00:11:05,399
someone to hold your hand during a breakdown and say,

312
00:11:05,399 --> 00:11:06,307
"I went through this too;

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00:11:06,308 --> 00:11:06,850
it'll be okay."

314
00:11:07,229 --> 00:11:09,830
Anthropologists call this cooperative breeding.

315
00:11:09,948 --> 00:11:11,389
It's not an extra perk;

316
00:11:11,548 --> 00:11:14,710
it's a necessity for your nervous system to function normally.

317
00:11:14,749 --> 00:11:16,570
But what does modern society give you?

318
00:11:16,948 --> 00:11:18,508
A 60-square-meter apartment,

319
00:11:18,509 --> 00:11:20,827
a partner who might be just as overwhelmed,

320
00:11:20,828 --> 00:11:23,269
and an infant who cries every two hours.

321
00:11:23,469 --> 00:11:25,789
You have hundreds of contacts in your phone,

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00:11:25,948 --> 00:11:29,830
but when your baby wakes up crying at 3 AM, you don't know who to call.

323
00:11:30,308 --> 00:11:32,429
Your mother might be in another city.

324
00:11:32,548 --> 00:11:35,750
Your best friend might be single and wouldn't understand.

325
00:11:35,908 --> 00:11:38,309
You might not even know your neighbor's name.

326
00:11:38,788 --> 00:11:42,509
The 'village' system human childcare evolved over millions of years

327
00:11:42,629 --> 00:11:45,590
has been completely dismantled in less than a century.

328
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,149
But your brain hasn't had time to update yet.

329
00:11:48,509 --> 00:11:51,230
It's still running on configurations from millions of years ago,

330
00:11:51,509 --> 00:11:53,669
waiting for a village that isn't coming.

331
00:11:54,028 --> 00:11:55,190
This is not your fault.

332
00:11:55,469 --> 00:11:58,110
This is a structural flaw of modern civilization.

333
00:11:58,788 --> 00:12:01,190
Your nervous system is calling for a village,

334
00:12:01,229 --> 00:12:02,710
but all you have is a wall.

335
00:12:03,109 --> 00:12:03,450
So,

336
00:12:03,749 --> 00:12:05,268
if you are going through this,

337
00:12:05,269 --> 00:12:06,990
I have a few things to tell you.

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00:12:07,308 --> 00:12:07,649
First,

339
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:08,990
go see a doctor.

340
00:12:09,308 --> 00:12:12,269
Postpartum depression is a disease with clear physiological mechanisms.

341
00:12:12,349 --> 00:12:16,070
It's no different from hypothyroidism or diabetes.

342
00:12:16,229 --> 00:12:18,429
You wouldn't think having diabetes is being 'dramatic,'

343
00:12:18,469 --> 00:12:20,669
and neither is the chemical imbalance in your brain.

344
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:21,210
Second,

345
00:12:21,589 --> 00:12:22,730
if the doctor suggests medication,

346
00:12:22,989 --> 00:12:23,990
don't resist it.

347
00:12:24,349 --> 00:12:26,029
Many mothers refuse medication,

348
00:12:26,109 --> 00:12:27,929
thinking, 'I should get through this on my own.'

349
00:12:28,469 --> 00:12:30,990
Three systems in your body are collapsing simultaneously.

350
00:12:31,308 --> 00:12:33,269
Medication isn't magic to make you happy;

351
00:12:33,389 --> 00:12:36,250
it helps your nervous system return to a baseline where you can think,

352
00:12:36,428 --> 00:12:38,950
reach out for help, and function normally.

353
00:12:39,308 --> 00:12:40,908
We need to pull you out of the water first

354
00:12:40,908 --> 00:12:42,429
before we talk about swimming.

355
00:12:42,668 --> 00:12:43,009
Third,

356
00:12:43,509 --> 00:12:44,988
if you feel like you don't love your baby,

357
00:12:44,989 --> 00:12:46,350
that thought is a lie.

358
00:12:46,708 --> 00:12:49,830
A core symptom of postpartum depression is emotional numbness.

359
00:12:50,349 --> 00:12:51,990
It's not that your love has vanished;

360
00:12:52,269 --> 00:12:54,230
it's that your brain, in order to protect itself,

361
00:12:54,389 --> 00:12:57,029
has temporarily shut down all emotional channels.

362
00:12:57,308 --> 00:12:59,830
It's like a circuit breaker tripping after an overload.

363
00:13:00,308 --> 00:13:00,929
The power is out,

364
00:13:01,068 --> 00:13:02,429
but it doesn't mean the circuit is broken.

365
00:13:02,589 --> 00:13:03,610
Once the load is reduced,

366
00:13:03,948 --> 00:13:05,429
the breaker will flip back on.

367
00:13:05,788 --> 00:13:07,350
Those feelings will return.

368
00:13:07,629 --> 00:13:08,009
Fourth,

369
00:13:08,469 --> 00:13:10,509
find someone who can hold space for you.

370
00:13:10,908 --> 00:13:12,388
They don't need to lecture you,

371
00:13:12,389 --> 00:13:13,809
or help you analyze the causes.

372
00:13:14,469 --> 00:13:15,467
Just someone

373
00:13:15,469 --> 00:13:18,149
willing to sit beside you while you break down,

374
00:13:18,229 --> 00:13:18,929
saying nothing,

375
00:13:19,308 --> 00:13:20,009
doing nothing,

376
00:13:20,749 --> 00:13:21,470
just being there.

377
00:13:22,188 --> 00:13:25,690
Your parasympathetic nervous system can be reset by another person's calm breathing,

378
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:29,789
steady gaze, and warm palm.

379
00:13:30,149 --> 00:13:32,750
Neuroscience calls this 'co-regulation.'

380
00:13:33,149 --> 00:13:34,629
You aren't meant to carry this alone;

381
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:37,950
your brain wasn't designed for it.

382
00:13:38,269 --> 00:13:40,269
If you can't find someone right now,

383
00:13:40,349 --> 00:13:41,289
there are hotlines,

384
00:13:41,749 --> 00:13:43,389
postpartum support groups,

385
00:13:43,629 --> 00:13:45,389
and professional therapists.

386
00:13:45,828 --> 00:13:46,250
Reach out;

387
00:13:46,548 --> 00:13:47,549
someone will catch you.

388
00:13:48,389 --> 00:13:51,269
Don't wait until you're 'sick enough' to ask for help.

389
00:13:51,589 --> 00:13:54,389
You don't need to prove your pain meets a certain standard

390
00:13:54,428 --> 00:13:55,990
to be worthy of help.

391
00:13:56,229 --> 00:13:56,610
Fifth,

392
00:13:56,989 --> 00:13:58,710
tell your partner the truth.

393
00:13:58,989 --> 00:14:01,230
Tell them what you are going through.

394
00:14:01,469 --> 00:14:03,187
Not for them to fix you,

395
00:14:03,188 --> 00:14:04,909
but for them to see you.

396
00:14:05,269 --> 00:14:09,230
Many mothers instinctively hide their condition,

397
00:14:09,469 --> 00:14:11,070
fearing they're a burden to the family

398
00:14:11,229 --> 00:14:12,870
or that they'll be seen as weak.

399
00:14:13,149 --> 00:14:16,309
But hiding itself is consuming your last bit of energy.

400
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,470
You don't need to express it perfectly.

401
00:14:18,589 --> 00:14:19,827
You only need to say,

402
00:14:19,828 --> 00:14:20,769
"I'm not okay right now,

403
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,269
and I need you to know."

404
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:23,229
Finally,

405
00:14:23,229 --> 00:14:25,470
I want to return to that viewer's comment at the beginning.

406
00:14:25,749 --> 00:14:29,269
He said his partner was diagnosed with severe depression and moderate anxiety.

407
00:14:29,509 --> 00:14:32,389
He asked if I would make a video about this.

408
00:14:32,629 --> 00:14:33,710
I could hear in his words,

409
00:14:33,828 --> 00:14:35,549
he is reaching his breaking point too.

410
00:14:35,869 --> 00:14:39,029
Research data tells me a little-known fact:

411
00:14:39,308 --> 00:14:41,269
When a mother has postpartum depression,

412
00:14:41,389 --> 00:14:44,629
there is a 50% chance her partner will also show symptoms.

413
00:14:44,649 --> 00:14:45,448
Half.

414
00:14:45,629 --> 00:14:46,548
In other words,

415
00:14:46,548 --> 00:14:49,269
postpartum depression isn't a storm a mother faces alone;

416
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,590
it pulls the entire family in.

417
00:14:51,908 --> 00:14:52,409
In the next video,

418
00:14:52,828 --> 00:14:54,388
the second part of this series,

419
00:14:54,389 --> 00:14:55,750
I want to focus on him—

420
00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:59,389
on everyone supporting a partner with postpartum depression.

421
00:14:59,948 --> 00:15:02,669
Because you are fighting an invisible war,

422
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:06,029
and you may already be deeply scarred yourselves.

423
00:15:06,389 --> 00:15:07,169
But before that,

424
00:15:07,629 --> 00:15:09,549
I want to leave this final message

425
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:12,950
for the mother going through this right now:

426
00:15:13,269 --> 00:15:14,789
You are not a bad mother.

427
00:15:15,109 --> 00:15:18,230
You are a good mother in the eye of a storm.

428
00:15:18,629 --> 00:15:20,549
And this storm has an end.

429
00:15:20,788 --> 00:15:22,409
Have you experienced postpartum depression?

430
00:15:22,869 --> 00:15:24,769
Or is someone close to you going through it?

431
00:15:25,349 --> 00:15:26,788
How did you get through it?

432
00:15:26,788 --> 00:15:28,450
Or are you still on that journey?

433
00:15:29,349 --> 00:15:30,629
Tell me in the comments.

434
00:15:31,109 --> 00:15:31,850
I am Wang Lijie.

435
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:33,548
See you next time.