1
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产后抑郁不是矫情

2
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是一场化学海啸

3
00:00:04,668 --> 00:00:06,389
有一位观众给我留言

4
00:00:06,668 --> 00:00:07,049
他说

5
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老师

6
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我的伴侣产后大半年得了重度抑郁症

7
00:00:11,749 --> 00:00:12,730
总是想自杀

8
00:00:13,228 --> 00:00:13,609
失眠

9
00:00:13,868 --> 00:00:14,289
头疼

10
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腹泻

11
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情绪崩溃大哭

12
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关系非常紧张

13
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他问我

14
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你会出这方面的视频吗

15
00:00:22,028 --> 00:00:23,089
我看完这条留言

16
00:00:23,509 --> 00:00:24,870
心里沉了很久

17
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因为我知道

18
00:00:26,189 --> 00:00:28,230
他描述的不是一个人的故事

19
00:00:28,309 --> 00:00:31,510
是几百万个家庭此刻正在经历的事情

20
00:00:31,868 --> 00:00:32,908
全球范围内

21
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大约百分之十七的产后女性会经历

22
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不同程度的产后抑郁

23
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在中国

24
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这个比例可能更高

25
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因为大量的轻度和中度病例根本没有被识别出来

26
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她们被一句"矫情"堵住了嘴

27
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哈喽

28
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大家好

29
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我是王利杰

30
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今天我要做两期姊妹篇

31
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这一期

32
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写给正在经历产后抑郁的母亲

33
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下一期

34
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写给她身边的那个人

35
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她的伴侣

36
00:01:00,189 --> 00:01:02,070
如果你现在正在看这期视频

37
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怀里抱着孩子

38
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或者孩子刚被送去父母家里带

39
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你的眼眶是红的

40
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胸口像压了一块石头

41
00:01:09,909 --> 00:01:11,787
你觉得自己不配做妈妈

42
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你觉得孩子没有你会更好

43
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你甚至觉得活着本身就是一种负担

44
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我需要你先记住一句话

45
00:01:18,989 --> 00:01:21,790
这句话是今天整期视频的核心结论

46
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我先把它亮出来

47
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你没有坏掉

48
00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:25,668
你的大脑

49
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正在经历人类生理学里最剧烈的一次化学重置

50
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你现在的感受

51
00:01:31,028 --> 00:01:32,268
不是你的性格

52
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不是你的能力

53
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不是你的爱不够

54
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是你的神经系统正在经历一场九级地震

55
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我们一层一层来拆

56
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第一层

57
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你的身体到底发生了什么

58
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怀孕期间

59
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你体内有两种关键激素在疯狂飙升

60
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一个叫孕酮

61
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一个叫雌激素

62
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到了孕晚期

63
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它们的浓度比正常水平高出一百到一千倍

64
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这个数字你要记住

65
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一百到一千倍

66
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不是百分之几的波动

67
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是几个数量级的飙升

68
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这两种激素不只是让你长胖和恶心的东西

69
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它们直接作用于你的大脑

70
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孕酮在大脑里有一个代谢产物

71
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叫别孕烯醇酮

72
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这个名字你不用记

73
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你只需要知道一件事

74
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它的作用和安定药几乎一样

75
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它直接作用在你大脑里一种叫做GABA受体的

76
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开关上

77
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GABA受体是什么

78
00:02:28,669 --> 00:02:30,310
是你大脑的刹车系统

79
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别孕烯醇酮相当于一个超级高效的刹车片

80
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装了九个月

81
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你的焦虑被压住了

82
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你的恐惧被缓冲了

83
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你的整个神经系统被泡在一池天然镇定剂里

84
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雌激素呢

85
00:02:43,709 --> 00:02:46,069
它负责调节血清素的合成

86
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血清素就是那个让你觉得"日子还过得

87
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下去"的神经递质

88
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怀孕后期

89
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你的血清素合成线开足了马力

90
00:02:54,989 --> 00:02:56,509
所以很多孕妇会说

91
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孕晚期虽然身体笨重

92
00:02:58,588 --> 00:03:00,669
但情绪反而挺稳定的

93
00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:02,870
甚至有一种莫名的安宁感

94
00:03:03,549 --> 00:03:05,469
那不是母爱提前上线了

95
00:03:05,788 --> 00:03:09,469
那是你的大脑被一整套化学防护系统保护着

96
00:03:09,709 --> 00:03:10,050
然后

97
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孩子出生了

98
00:03:11,829 --> 00:03:14,310
分娩后的二十四到四十八小时内

99
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你的孕酮和雌激素浓度断崖式下跌

100
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从最高峰直接坠到接近于零

101
00:03:21,348 --> 00:03:23,349
这个跌幅的速度和幅度

102
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是人类生理学里已知的最剧烈的激素变化

103
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没有之一

104
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你想象一下

105
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如果你吃了九个月的安定药

106
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然后有一天

107
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没有人通知你

108
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没有人给你任何过渡

109
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直接全部停掉

110
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你的身体会怎样

111
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失眠

112
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心悸

113
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全身不适

114
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恐慌发作

115
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情绪完全失控

116
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这就是产后你的身体正在经历的事情

117
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你以为是你心理脆弱

118
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不是

119
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你的神经系统正在经历一场化学戒断

120
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而且这场戒断发生的时间点

121
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简直是人类进化史上最残忍的设计

122
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就在你的化学防护系统全面撤离的同时

123
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你开始了一种叫做碎片化睡眠的生活

124
00:04:05,669 --> 00:04:08,229
新生儿每隔两到三个小时要吃一次奶

125
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你的深度睡眠被反复打断

126
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而深度睡眠恰恰是大脑清除代谢废物

127
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修复神经回路、重建情绪稳定性的唯一窗口

128
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睡眠剥夺在军事审讯中被列为一种酷刑

129
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它对大脑的损伤是可以测量的

130
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持续的睡眠不足会让你的杏仁核

131
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也就是大脑里的恐惧警报中心

132
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对负面刺激的反应强度增加百分之六十以上

133
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同时

134
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负责理性调控情绪的前额叶功能下降

135
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翻译成大白话就是

136
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你的恐惧被放大了

137
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同时你控制恐惧的能力被削弱了

138
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你的化学防线撤了

139
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你的睡眠修复通道被堵了

140
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这不是两个独立的打击

141
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这是一个恶性循环

142
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激素失衡导致你睡不着

143
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睡不着导致激素进一步紊乱

144
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紊乱导致你更焦虑

145
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焦虑导致你更睡不着

146
00:05:02,309 --> 00:05:02,930
一个螺旋

147
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越转越快

148
00:05:04,829 --> 00:05:05,709
2019年

149
00:05:05,869 --> 00:05:09,860
美国FDA批准了人类历史上第一个专门针对产后抑郁

150
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的药物

151
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叫做布瑞诺龙

152
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2023年又批准了第二个

153
00:05:14,629 --> 00:05:16,269
叫做祖拉诺龙

154
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你猜这两个药的作用机制是什么

155
00:05:19,509 --> 00:05:21,670
就是人工补充别孕烯醇酮

156
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就是把你身体里断供的那个天然镇定剂重新补回来

157
00:05:26,629 --> 00:05:27,449
这意味着什么

158
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:31,470
意味着现代药理学已经用最硬的证据告诉你

159
00:05:31,668 --> 00:05:35,389
产后抑郁的核心机制之一就是一场化学断供

160
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这不是性格问题

161
00:05:37,269 --> 00:05:38,430
不是意志力问题

162
00:05:38,749 --> 00:05:41,949
是你的大脑的化学原料被突然抽空了

163
00:05:42,228 --> 00:05:43,589
但这只是第一层

164
00:05:43,869 --> 00:05:44,990
还有第二层

165
00:05:45,189 --> 00:05:46,189
2017年

166
00:05:46,428 --> 00:05:50,040
荷兰莱顿大学的霍克泽马教授在<自然神经科学>

167
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:53,629
上发表了一项让整个学界震惊的研究

168
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她带领团队扫描了二十五位女性在怀孕前和分娩后

169
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的大脑

170
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结果发现

171
00:06:00,548 --> 00:06:01,949
成为母亲这件事

172
00:06:01,988 --> 00:06:05,829
会让女性的大脑灰质发生大面积的结构性改变

173
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注意

174
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不是功能性改变

175
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是结构性改变

176
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就是物理上变了

177
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变化最大的区域

178
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是大脑中负责社会认知的那些区域

179
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内侧前额叶

180
00:06:17,629 --> 00:06:18,668
后扣带回

181
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颞叶

182
00:06:19,548 --> 00:06:21,470
还有其他几个关键节点

183
00:06:21,788 --> 00:06:24,110
这些区域帮你理解别人的表情

184
00:06:24,189 --> 00:06:27,627
帮你预判一个不会说话的婴儿到底是饿了

185
00:06:27,629 --> 00:06:28,050
困了

186
00:06:28,228 --> 00:06:29,470
还是不舒服了

187
00:06:29,629 --> 00:06:31,389
这些变化的幅度之大

188
00:06:31,428 --> 00:06:33,468
在人类整个生命周期里

189
00:06:33,468 --> 00:06:35,389
只有青春期可以媲美

190
00:06:35,709 --> 00:06:36,569
更关键的是

191
00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:39,110
这些变化至少持续两年

192
00:06:39,668 --> 00:06:41,329
霍克泽马教授的结论是

193
00:06:41,629 --> 00:06:42,870
这不是损伤

194
00:06:42,949 --> 00:06:45,750
这更像是青春期的突触修剪

195
00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:49,629
大脑在做一次大规模的重新专门化

196
00:06:49,749 --> 00:06:53,529
把计算资源集中到"照顾这个新生命"这个最高

197
00:06:53,548 --> 00:06:54,870
优先级的任务上

198
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:56,149
但问题是

199
00:06:56,228 --> 00:06:58,629
这个重构不是一瞬间完成的

200
00:06:58,869 --> 00:07:00,827
在长达两年的过渡期里

201
00:07:00,829 --> 00:07:03,949
你的大脑处于一种极不稳定的施工状态

202
00:07:04,228 --> 00:07:06,589
就像你家正在拆墙重装

203
00:07:06,869 --> 00:07:08,708
同时你还得住在里面

204
00:07:08,709 --> 00:07:09,089
做饭

205
00:07:09,389 --> 00:07:10,189
洗衣服

206
00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:12,230
每隔两小时喂一次奶

207
00:07:12,428 --> 00:07:14,189
每天睡不到四个小时

208
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:15,329
所以你健忘

209
00:07:15,709 --> 00:07:16,949
你注意力涣散

210
00:07:17,149 --> 00:07:18,829
你觉得自己变傻了

211
00:07:18,988 --> 00:07:21,110
你的情绪像坐过山车

212
00:07:21,509 --> 00:07:22,589
你没有变傻

213
00:07:22,749 --> 00:07:25,629
你的大脑正在做一件极其了不起的事

214
00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:26,569
代价是

215
00:07:26,869 --> 00:07:28,028
在这段时间里

216
00:07:28,028 --> 00:07:30,910
你的抗压能力被压到了历史最低点

217
00:07:31,548 --> 00:07:34,029
化学断供加上大脑施工

218
00:07:34,189 --> 00:07:36,069
两层同时砸下来

219
00:07:36,348 --> 00:07:37,529
但真正致命的

220
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:38,910
是第三层

221
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第三层不是生理的

222
00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:42,069
是心理的

223
00:07:42,348 --> 00:07:43,050
准确地说

224
00:07:43,309 --> 00:07:44,389
是文化的

225
00:07:44,468 --> 00:07:45,670
它叫做耻感

226
00:07:46,149 --> 00:07:47,350
你打开手机

227
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:50,509
看到别的妈妈在朋友圈晒宝宝的照片

228
00:07:50,788 --> 00:07:53,730
配文说"感谢这个小天使来到我的世界"

229
00:07:54,228 --> 00:07:55,307
你的婆婆说"

230
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:58,149
我们那个年代带三四个孩子都没事

231
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,189
你怎么带一个还这样"

232
00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:03,430
你的老公用一种困惑的眼神看着你

233
00:08:03,629 --> 00:08:04,589
他不说话

234
00:08:04,668 --> 00:08:06,209
但你知道他在想什么

235
00:08:06,588 --> 00:08:07,829
他觉得你在作

236
00:08:08,389 --> 00:08:09,529
你的闺蜜来看你

237
00:08:09,749 --> 00:08:11,189
说"要振作起来啊

238
00:08:11,309 --> 00:08:12,170
孩子多可爱

239
00:08:12,629 --> 00:08:13,769
你应该高兴才对"

240
00:08:14,348 --> 00:08:15,870
然后你开始怀疑自己

241
00:08:16,389 --> 00:08:18,069
我是不是不爱我的孩子

242
00:08:18,348 --> 00:08:20,389
我是不是天生不适合当妈

243
00:08:20,829 --> 00:08:23,029
我是不是有什么根本性的缺陷

244
00:08:23,509 --> 00:08:24,589
这三个念头

245
00:08:24,668 --> 00:08:27,990
是产后抑郁患者最常报告的核心认知

246
00:08:28,348 --> 00:08:31,269
而心理学研究告诉我们一个非常重要的区分

247
00:08:31,709 --> 00:08:34,470
愧疚和耻感是完全不同的两个东西

248
00:08:35,149 --> 00:08:36,970
愧疚是"我做了一件不好的事"

249
00:08:37,629 --> 00:08:39,450
耻感是"我是一个不好的人"

250
00:08:40,188 --> 00:08:41,250
愧疚是具体的

251
00:08:41,469 --> 00:08:42,210
指向行为

252
00:08:42,509 --> 00:08:43,509
可以修复

253
00:08:43,708 --> 00:08:45,250
但耻感是弥漫性的

254
00:08:45,509 --> 00:08:46,549
指向自我

255
00:08:46,788 --> 00:08:48,590
它不是让你改正错误

256
00:08:48,708 --> 00:08:51,830
而是让你觉得你的存在本身就是错误

257
00:08:52,109 --> 00:08:54,429
耻感在大脑里激活的区域

258
00:08:54,469 --> 00:08:57,389
和物理疼痛走的是同一条神经通路

259
00:08:57,509 --> 00:09:00,230
前脑岛和背侧前扣带回

260
00:09:00,389 --> 00:09:02,710
当你觉得自己是一个坏母亲的时候

261
00:09:02,948 --> 00:09:05,587
你的大脑感受到的不是比喻性的痛

262
00:09:05,589 --> 00:09:08,490
是真实的、可以被核磁共振拍到的

263
00:09:08,788 --> 00:09:11,870
和你被烫了一下完全同类型的疼痛

264
00:09:12,109 --> 00:09:15,429
而此刻你的化学防护系统已经撤了

265
00:09:15,869 --> 00:09:17,587
别孕烯醇酮断供了

266
00:09:17,589 --> 00:09:19,309
你的天然镇定剂没了

267
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:21,187
血清素合成线停了

268
00:09:21,188 --> 00:09:22,908
你的情绪缓冲没了

269
00:09:22,908 --> 00:09:24,269
大脑正在施工

270
00:09:24,469 --> 00:09:26,629
认知资源被大面积征用

271
00:09:26,948 --> 00:09:29,590
你的整个神经系统处于裸奔状态

272
00:09:29,948 --> 00:09:31,628
就在这个最脆弱的时刻

273
00:09:31,629 --> 00:09:34,269
社会文化给你塞了一颗耻感炸弹

274
00:09:34,589 --> 00:09:36,470
你的身体在替你喊救命

275
00:09:36,908 --> 00:09:38,049
但你听到的全是

276
00:09:38,428 --> 00:09:39,750
你怎么这么没用

277
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,089
停一下

278
00:09:41,589 --> 00:09:43,230
如果你正在经历这些

279
00:09:43,469 --> 00:09:45,870
请你此刻把手放在自己胸口

280
00:09:46,229 --> 00:09:47,750
感受一下你的心跳

281
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,230
它还在跳

282
00:09:49,509 --> 00:09:51,750
在这样的压力下它还在跳

283
00:09:52,028 --> 00:09:53,710
这不是理所当然的事

284
00:09:54,188 --> 00:09:55,690
激素断供是子弹

285
00:09:56,389 --> 00:09:58,149
大脑重构是伤口

286
00:09:58,469 --> 00:10:00,909
耻感是阻止伤口愈合的感染

287
00:10:01,229 --> 00:10:02,450
三层同时叠加

288
00:10:02,948 --> 00:10:04,669
任何一个人都扛不住

289
00:10:05,109 --> 00:10:06,429
而你还在这里

290
00:10:06,668 --> 00:10:08,070
你还在看这个视频

291
00:10:08,509 --> 00:10:11,190
你还在试图理解自己到底怎么了

292
00:10:11,548 --> 00:10:12,629
光是这一点

293
00:10:12,668 --> 00:10:15,750
就已经说明你比你以为的坚强得多

294
00:10:16,109 --> 00:10:16,990
讲到这里

295
00:10:17,109 --> 00:10:19,789
我要说一个可能会让你意外的事实

296
00:10:20,149 --> 00:10:23,710
如果你把人类的产后恢复放到进化的尺度上看

297
00:10:23,788 --> 00:10:25,149
你会发现一件事

298
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:29,399
人类是地球上唯一一个让母亲独自带孩子的

299
00:10:29,399 --> 00:10:30,350
灵长类动物

300
00:10:30,948 --> 00:10:33,429
狨猴有整个家族集体抚育

301
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,269
狼有整个狼群帮忙

302
00:10:35,589 --> 00:10:38,230
大象有祖母和姨妈全程陪伴

303
00:10:38,548 --> 00:10:40,590
人类在漫长的进化史中

304
00:10:40,668 --> 00:10:43,350
从来不是一个母亲单独带一个孩子

305
00:10:43,708 --> 00:10:46,509
人类的原始育儿模式是村庄式的

306
00:10:46,629 --> 00:10:49,509
一个孩子由整个部落共同抚养

307
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:53,350
你的大脑到今天还是按照那个模式设计的

308
00:10:53,389 --> 00:10:56,750
它预期你在产后会被一群人包围

309
00:10:56,908 --> 00:10:58,190
有人帮你做饭

310
00:10:58,229 --> 00:11:01,789
有人在半夜帮你抱孩子让你睡两个小时

311
00:11:01,908 --> 00:11:05,399
有人在你情绪崩溃的时候拉着你的手说"我也是

312
00:11:05,399 --> 00:11:06,307
这么过来的

313
00:11:06,308 --> 00:11:06,850
没事的"

314
00:11:07,229 --> 00:11:09,830
人类学家把这叫做共同抚育

315
00:11:09,948 --> 00:11:11,389
它不是额外福利

316
00:11:11,548 --> 00:11:14,710
它是你的神经系统正常运转的必要条件

317
00:11:14,749 --> 00:11:16,570
但现代社会给你的是什么

318
00:11:16,948 --> 00:11:18,508
一套六十平的公寓

319
00:11:18,509 --> 00:11:20,827
一个可能同样不知所措的伴侣

320
00:11:20,828 --> 00:11:23,269
和一个每两小时哭一次的婴儿

321
00:11:23,469 --> 00:11:25,789
你的手机里有几百个联系人

322
00:11:25,948 --> 00:11:29,830
但凌晨三点孩子哭醒的时候你不知道能打给谁

323
00:11:30,308 --> 00:11:32,429
你的妈妈可能在另一个城市

324
00:11:32,548 --> 00:11:35,750
你的闺蜜可能还没结婚不知道怎么聊这些

325
00:11:35,908 --> 00:11:38,309
你的邻居你可能连名字都不知道

326
00:11:38,788 --> 00:11:42,509
人类花了几百万年进化出的村庄育儿系统

327
00:11:42,629 --> 00:11:45,590
在最近不到一百年里被彻底拆掉了

328
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,149
但你的大脑还没来得及更新

329
00:11:48,509 --> 00:11:51,230
它还在按照几百万年前的配置运行

330
00:11:51,509 --> 00:11:53,669
等待一个不会再来的村庄

331
00:11:54,028 --> 00:11:55,190
这不是你的问题

332
00:11:55,469 --> 00:11:58,110
这是整个现代文明的结构性缺陷

333
00:11:58,788 --> 00:12:01,190
你的神经系统在呼唤一个村庄

334
00:12:01,229 --> 00:12:02,710
但你只有一面墙

335
00:12:03,109 --> 00:12:03,450
所以

336
00:12:03,749 --> 00:12:05,268
如果你正在经历这些

337
00:12:05,269 --> 00:12:06,990
我有几句话想对你说

338
00:12:07,308 --> 00:12:07,649
第一

339
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:08,990
去看医生

340
00:12:09,308 --> 00:12:12,269
产后抑郁是一种有明确生理机制的疾病

341
00:12:12,349 --> 00:12:16,070
和甲状腺功能减退、糖尿病没有任何本质区别

342
00:12:16,229 --> 00:12:18,429
你不会觉得得了糖尿病是矫情

343
00:12:18,469 --> 00:12:20,669
你的大脑化学失衡也不是

344
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:21,210
第二

345
00:12:21,589 --> 00:12:22,730
如果医生建议用药

346
00:12:22,989 --> 00:12:23,990
不要抗拒

347
00:12:24,349 --> 00:12:26,029
很多妈妈拒绝吃药

348
00:12:26,109 --> 00:12:27,929
觉得"我应该靠自己扛过去"

349
00:12:28,469 --> 00:12:30,990
你身体里三个系统在同时崩塌

350
00:12:31,308 --> 00:12:33,269
药物不是让你开心的魔法

351
00:12:33,389 --> 00:12:36,250
是帮你的神经系统恢复到一个你能思考

352
00:12:36,428 --> 00:12:38,950
能求助、能正常运转的基线

353
00:12:39,308 --> 00:12:40,908
先把你从水里捞出来

354
00:12:40,908 --> 00:12:42,429
然后再谈游泳的事

355
00:12:42,668 --> 00:12:43,009
第三

356
00:12:43,509 --> 00:12:44,988
你觉得你不爱孩子

357
00:12:44,989 --> 00:12:46,350
这个念头是假的

358
00:12:46,708 --> 00:12:49,830
产后抑郁有一个核心症状叫做情感麻木

359
00:12:50,349 --> 00:12:51,990
它不是你的爱消失了

360
00:12:52,269 --> 00:12:54,230
是你的大脑为了保护自己

361
00:12:54,389 --> 00:12:57,029
把所有情感通道暂时关闭了

362
00:12:57,308 --> 00:12:59,830
就像一个电路过载之后自动跳闸

363
00:13:00,308 --> 00:13:00,929
闸跳了

364
00:13:01,068 --> 00:13:02,429
不代表电路坏了

365
00:13:02,589 --> 00:13:03,610
等负荷降下来

366
00:13:03,948 --> 00:13:05,429
闸会重新合上的

367
00:13:05,788 --> 00:13:07,350
那些感觉会回来的

368
00:13:07,629 --> 00:13:08,009
第四

369
00:13:08,469 --> 00:13:10,509
找到一个能接住你的人

370
00:13:10,908 --> 00:13:12,388
不需要给你讲道理

371
00:13:12,389 --> 00:13:13,809
不需要帮你分析原因

372
00:13:14,469 --> 00:13:15,467
就是一个人

373
00:13:15,469 --> 00:13:18,149
愿意在你崩溃的时候坐在你旁边

374
00:13:18,229 --> 00:13:18,929
什么都不说

375
00:13:19,308 --> 00:13:20,009
什么都不做

376
00:13:20,749 --> 00:13:21,470
只是在

377
00:13:22,188 --> 00:13:25,690
你的副交感神经系统可以被另一个人的平静呼吸

378
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:29,789
稳定的目光、温暖的掌心触发重启

379
00:13:30,149 --> 00:13:32,750
神经科学管这个叫共调节

380
00:13:33,149 --> 00:13:34,629
你不需要一个人扛

381
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:37,950
你的大脑设计上就不是一个人扛的

382
00:13:38,269 --> 00:13:40,269
如果你暂时找不到这样的人

383
00:13:40,349 --> 00:13:41,289
有心理热线

384
00:13:41,749 --> 00:13:43,389
有产后支持团体

385
00:13:43,629 --> 00:13:45,389
有专业的心理咨询师

386
00:13:45,828 --> 00:13:46,250
伸手

387
00:13:46,548 --> 00:13:47,549
就有人接

388
00:13:48,389 --> 00:13:51,269
不要等到你觉得自己"够严重了"才去求助

389
00:13:51,589 --> 00:13:54,389
你不需要证明自己的痛苦达到了什么标准

390
00:13:54,428 --> 00:13:55,990
才有资格获得帮助

391
00:13:56,229 --> 00:13:56,610
第五

392
00:13:56,989 --> 00:13:58,710
对你的伴侣说实话

393
00:13:58,989 --> 00:14:01,230
告诉他你正在经历什么

394
00:14:01,469 --> 00:14:03,187
不是为了让他修好你

395
00:14:03,188 --> 00:14:04,909
而是为了让他看见你

396
00:14:05,269 --> 00:14:09,230
很多产后抑郁的母亲会本能地隐藏自己的状态

397
00:14:09,469 --> 00:14:11,070
怕给家人添麻烦

398
00:14:11,229 --> 00:14:12,870
怕被认为不够坚强

399
00:14:13,149 --> 00:14:16,309
但隐藏本身就在消耗你最后的能量

400
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,470
你不需要一个完美的表达

401
00:14:18,589 --> 00:14:19,827
你只需要一句"

402
00:14:19,828 --> 00:14:20,769
我现在很不好

403
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,269
我需要你知道"

404
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:23,229
最后

405
00:14:23,229 --> 00:14:25,470
我想回到开头那位观众的留言

406
00:14:25,749 --> 00:14:29,269
他说他的伴侣确诊了重度抑郁和中度焦虑

407
00:14:29,509 --> 00:14:32,389
他在留言里问我会不会出这方面的视频

408
00:14:32,629 --> 00:14:33,710
我能听出来

409
00:14:33,828 --> 00:14:35,549
他自己也快撑不住了

410
00:14:35,869 --> 00:14:39,029
研究数据告诉我一个很少有人知道的事实

411
00:14:39,308 --> 00:14:41,269
当母亲患有产后抑郁时

412
00:14:41,389 --> 00:14:44,629
她的伴侣出现抑郁症状的概率是百分之五十

413
00:14:44,649 --> 00:14:45,448
一半

414
00:14:45,629 --> 00:14:46,548
也就是说

415
00:14:46,548 --> 00:14:49,269
产后抑郁不只是母亲一个人的风暴

416
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,590
它会把整个家庭都卷进去

417
00:14:51,908 --> 00:14:52,409
下一期

418
00:14:52,828 --> 00:14:54,388
姊妹篇的下半部分

419
00:14:54,389 --> 00:14:55,750
我要专门写给他

420
00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:59,389
写给每一个正在陪伴产后抑郁伴侣的人

421
00:14:59,948 --> 00:15:02,669
因为你们正在打一场没有人看见的仗

422
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:06,029
而你们自己可能也已经伤痕累累了

423
00:15:06,389 --> 00:15:07,169
但在那之前

424
00:15:07,629 --> 00:15:09,549
我想把今天最后一句话

425
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:12,950
留给此刻正在经历这一切的那位母亲

426
00:15:13,269 --> 00:15:14,789
你不是一个坏妈妈

427
00:15:15,109 --> 00:15:18,230
你是一个正在风暴正中央的好妈妈

428
00:15:18,629 --> 00:15:20,549
这场风暴是有尽头的

429
00:15:20,788 --> 00:15:22,409
你经历过产后抑郁吗

430
00:15:22,869 --> 00:15:24,769
或者你身边有人正在经历

431
00:15:25,349 --> 00:15:26,788
你是怎么走过来的

432
00:15:26,788 --> 00:15:28,450
又或者你正在走的路上

433
00:15:29,349 --> 00:15:30,629
评论区告诉我

434
00:15:31,109 --> 00:15:31,850
我是王利杰

435
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:33,548
我们下期见