1
00:00:00,385 --> 00:00:01,893
你是情绪的终点站

2
00:00:02,185 --> 00:00:03,254
还是中转站

3
00:00:04,224 --> 00:00:05,554
想象一个场景

4
00:00:05,905 --> 00:00:09,353
一个男人在公司被老板劈头盖脸骂了一顿

5
00:00:09,824 --> 00:00:10,413
他忍着

6
00:00:10,785 --> 00:00:12,753
微笑着说好的我改

7
00:00:13,064 --> 00:00:13,894
下班回到家

8
00:00:14,384 --> 00:00:15,634
妻子说了一句

9
00:00:15,664 --> 00:00:17,513
你今天怎么又忘了买菜

10
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:18,934
他突然爆发了

11
00:00:19,265 --> 00:00:20,263
摔了筷子

12
00:00:20,265 --> 00:00:22,513
吼了一句你能不能别烦我

13
00:00:22,864 --> 00:00:23,734
妻子愣住了

14
00:00:23,984 --> 00:00:25,153
眼眶红了

15
00:00:25,504 --> 00:00:27,954
她不知道这顿火从哪里来的

16
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晚饭的时候

17
00:00:29,504 --> 00:00:30,553
妻子板着脸

18
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,353
孩子小心翼翼地说

19
00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:34,433
妈妈我这次考了八十五分

20
00:00:34,865 --> 00:00:35,654
妻子没抬头

21
00:00:36,024 --> 00:00:36,954
冷冷地说

22
00:00:37,064 --> 00:00:38,753
八十五分你也好意思说

23
00:00:39,384 --> 00:00:40,374
孩子回到房间

24
00:00:40,704 --> 00:00:41,514
关上门

25
00:00:41,585 --> 00:00:43,314
把那张试卷揉成一团

26
00:00:43,784 --> 00:00:44,984
第二天在学校

27
00:00:44,984 --> 00:00:46,874
他推了一个比他小的同学

28
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这股情绪

29
00:00:48,304 --> 00:00:49,704
从老板那里开始

30
00:00:49,704 --> 00:00:50,624
经过丈夫

31
00:00:50,625 --> 00:00:51,334
经过妻子

32
00:00:51,664 --> 00:00:53,554
最后落在了一个孩子身上

33
00:00:53,984 --> 00:00:55,554
没有一个人是故意的

34
00:00:55,945 --> 00:00:57,414
但情绪就像水

35
00:00:57,945 --> 00:00:59,314
总要找到出口

36
00:00:59,945 --> 00:01:00,173
哈喽

37
00:01:00,225 --> 00:01:00,654
大家好

38
00:01:00,865 --> 00:01:01,954
我是王利杰

39
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:05,754
今天这期的灵感来自评论区一位观众的留言

40
00:01:05,984 --> 00:01:06,813
他说了一段话

41
00:01:07,144 --> 00:01:08,674
我反复读了好几遍

42
00:01:08,704 --> 00:01:11,634
觉得写得比很多修行书都精准

43
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:12,213
他说

44
00:01:12,665 --> 00:01:14,194
每个人都有情绪

45
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如果情绪没有得到疏通

46
00:01:16,144 --> 00:01:17,914
就会淤堵在身体里

47
00:01:18,105 --> 00:01:19,834
很多人在外面做好人

48
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回家就把情绪发泄在伴侣身上

49
00:01:22,825 --> 00:01:24,424
有些人吵不过伴侣

50
00:01:24,424 --> 00:01:26,713
就把情绪发泄在子女身上

51
00:01:26,944 --> 00:01:28,784
情绪好像通过发泄

52
00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:31,114
从你的身体到了别人的身体

53
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,674
但你自己会形成宣泄的惯性

54
00:01:33,704 --> 00:01:35,793
在外人面前依然好脾气

55
00:01:35,825 --> 00:01:38,313
在家里人面前却越来越不可控

56
00:01:38,584 --> 00:01:41,233
然后他说了一句让我非常触动的话

57
00:01:41,745 --> 00:01:42,093
他说

58
00:01:42,504 --> 00:01:43,584
修行的意义

59
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就是让情绪在自己这里成为最后一站

60
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不管从哪里来的负面情绪

61
00:01:49,105 --> 00:01:50,063
到我这里

62
00:01:50,064 --> 00:01:51,194
就是终点站

63
00:01:51,864 --> 00:01:52,793
终点站

64
00:01:53,265 --> 00:01:54,993
这三个字太准了

65
00:01:55,265 --> 00:01:57,713
今天我想围绕这个观点展开

66
00:01:58,424 --> 00:02:00,233
为什么情绪需要出口

67
00:02:00,344 --> 00:02:02,313
我们默认的出口是什么

68
00:02:02,344 --> 00:02:04,334
这个默认模式有多危险

69
00:02:04,784 --> 00:02:05,474
以及

70
00:02:05,545 --> 00:02:08,993
真正有效的情绪化解方式到底是什么

71
00:02:09,224 --> 00:02:11,834
先说一个你可能没意识到的事

72
00:02:12,224 --> 00:02:14,153
情绪是有能量的

73
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:15,873
这不是灵修概念

74
00:02:15,944 --> 00:02:17,993
这是神经科学的基本事实

75
00:02:18,344 --> 00:02:19,674
当你愤怒的时候

76
00:02:19,784 --> 00:02:21,913
你的交感神经系统被激活

77
00:02:22,145 --> 00:02:24,794
肾上腺素和皮质醇大量分泌

78
00:02:25,025 --> 00:02:25,774
心跳加速

79
00:02:26,025 --> 00:02:26,734
血压升高

80
00:02:27,025 --> 00:02:28,033
肌肉紧张

81
00:02:28,425 --> 00:02:30,354
这些都是真实的生理变化

82
00:02:30,544 --> 00:02:32,794
都是身体里实实在在的能量

83
00:02:33,185 --> 00:02:34,614
这股能量被激活之后

84
00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:36,234
不会自己消失

85
00:02:36,784 --> 00:02:38,354
它必须有一个去处

86
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,554
动物世界的做法很简单

87
00:02:40,944 --> 00:02:42,354
羚羊被狮子追

88
00:02:42,465 --> 00:02:44,873
跑的过程就消耗了这股能量

89
00:02:45,305 --> 00:02:46,313
逃掉之后

90
00:02:46,425 --> 00:02:49,193
它会站在那里全身发抖几分钟

91
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:50,633
那不是害怕

92
00:02:50,905 --> 00:02:53,674
那是身体在释放残余的应激能量

93
00:02:54,064 --> 00:02:54,653
抖完了

94
00:02:54,985 --> 00:02:56,463
它就彻底恢复了

95
00:02:56,465 --> 00:02:57,174
继续吃草

96
00:02:57,504 --> 00:02:59,193
好像什么都没发生过

97
00:02:59,465 --> 00:03:00,713
但人类不行

98
00:03:01,145 --> 00:03:04,193
人类的社会规则不允许你当场释放

99
00:03:04,625 --> 00:03:05,373
老板骂你

100
00:03:05,544 --> 00:03:06,794
你不能骂回去

101
00:03:06,985 --> 00:03:07,894
客户刁难你

102
00:03:08,064 --> 00:03:09,394
你不能翻桌子

103
00:03:09,585 --> 00:03:11,304
路上有人别了你的车

104
00:03:11,305 --> 00:03:12,954
你最多按几下喇叭

105
00:03:13,264 --> 00:03:16,383
你的身体已经准备好了战斗或逃跑

106
00:03:16,384 --> 00:03:17,834
但你哪里也去不了

107
00:03:18,145 --> 00:03:20,153
能量被卡在了身体里

108
00:03:20,344 --> 00:03:21,753
然后你回到家

109
00:03:22,185 --> 00:03:22,933
家是什么

110
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:26,554
家是唯一一个你不需要戴面具的地方

111
00:03:26,865 --> 00:03:28,993
在家里发火的成本最低

112
00:03:29,344 --> 00:03:32,234
你的伴侣不会因为你吼了一句就辞职

113
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:35,514
你的孩子不会因为你摔了一个碗就离开

114
00:03:35,905 --> 00:03:38,433
所以家人就成了你的情绪出口

115
00:03:38,824 --> 00:03:40,554
不是因为你不爱他们

116
00:03:40,944 --> 00:03:41,993
恰恰相反

117
00:03:42,064 --> 00:03:44,354
正是因为你觉得他们不会离开

118
00:03:44,384 --> 00:03:47,394
你才敢在他们面前卸下所有的伪装

119
00:03:47,784 --> 00:03:50,473
心理学上有个词叫踢猫效应

120
00:03:50,745 --> 00:03:52,174
一个人被上级训斥

121
00:03:52,425 --> 00:03:53,993
回家冲妻子发火

122
00:03:54,104 --> 00:03:55,373
妻子冲孩子发火

123
00:03:55,664 --> 00:03:57,074
孩子踢了猫一脚

124
00:03:57,384 --> 00:03:59,274
情绪的能量没有消失

125
00:03:59,384 --> 00:04:01,954
只是沿着权力的梯度向下流动

126
00:04:02,064 --> 00:04:05,274
最终落在了最没有还手能力的那个身上

127
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:09,074
但这里有一件比踢猫效应更可怕的事情

128
00:04:09,104 --> 00:04:10,913
大多数人没有意识到

129
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,153
这种模式会固化

130
00:04:13,585 --> 00:04:16,274
当你反复把情绪倾倒给家人

131
00:04:16,425 --> 00:04:19,593
你的大脑会形成一条自动化的神经通路

132
00:04:20,064 --> 00:04:21,413
在外面承受压力

133
00:04:21,704 --> 00:04:23,314
回家释放压力

134
00:04:23,625 --> 00:04:25,834
这条回路会越来越顺畅

135
00:04:26,064 --> 00:04:28,434
就像水流冲出一条沟渠

136
00:04:28,785 --> 00:04:30,754
沟渠越冲越深

137
00:04:30,944 --> 00:04:33,074
水就越来越难走别的路

138
00:04:33,504 --> 00:04:35,634
你会发现一个很诡异的现象

139
00:04:35,944 --> 00:04:36,494
在外面

140
00:04:36,785 --> 00:04:38,074
你越来越能忍

141
00:04:38,264 --> 00:04:38,853
在家里

142
00:04:38,944 --> 00:04:40,314
你越来越易怒

143
00:04:40,665 --> 00:04:42,434
同事都说你脾气真好

144
00:04:42,704 --> 00:04:45,153
家人却觉得你像一颗定时炸弹

145
00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:47,113
不是你有两副面孔

146
00:04:47,464 --> 00:04:50,874
是你的大脑已经把家变成了唯一的泄洪口

147
00:04:51,144 --> 00:04:53,153
更深的问题在下一层

148
00:04:53,425 --> 00:04:55,634
你的伴侣接收了你的情绪

149
00:04:55,745 --> 00:04:58,834
她的身体里也产生了同样的应激反应

150
00:04:59,144 --> 00:05:00,514
她也需要出口

151
00:05:00,704 --> 00:05:03,634
如果她也用同样的方式向下倾倒

152
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,954
孩子就成了最终的承接者

153
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,074
孩子的大脑正在发育

154
00:05:08,185 --> 00:05:10,593
他的杏仁核已经很活跃了

155
00:05:10,785 --> 00:05:13,314
但他的前额叶皮层还没有长好

156
00:05:13,665 --> 00:05:15,754
杏仁核是情绪的警报器

157
00:05:15,865 --> 00:05:17,793
前额叶是情绪的刹车

158
00:05:18,144 --> 00:05:21,064
一个警报器全开但没有刹车的系统

159
00:05:21,064 --> 00:05:22,874
你想想会是什么样子

160
00:05:23,144 --> 00:05:26,033
孩子长期处在父母的情绪倾倒中

161
00:05:26,105 --> 00:05:28,553
他的神经系统会被重新编程

162
00:05:28,785 --> 00:05:31,194
他学到的不是某句具体的话

163
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:33,694
而是一个底层程序：压力来了

164
00:05:33,944 --> 00:05:36,113
找一个比你弱的人倒掉它

165
00:05:36,625 --> 00:05:38,553
这个程序会跟着他长大

166
00:05:38,944 --> 00:05:41,274
他在学校欺负比他小的同学

167
00:05:41,704 --> 00:05:43,954
他长大后对自己的伴侣发火

168
00:05:44,305 --> 00:05:45,584
他有了孩子之后

169
00:05:45,584 --> 00:05:48,033
把同样的程序传递给下一代

170
00:05:48,545 --> 00:05:50,074
这不是我的猜测

171
00:05:50,504 --> 00:05:51,994
上世纪九十年代

172
00:05:52,064 --> 00:05:57,120
美国疾控中心和凯撒医疗集团做了一项覆盖上万名成年人的

173
00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,314
大规模研究

174
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,954
叫做不良童年经历研究

175
00:06:01,305 --> 00:06:02,514
结论之一是

176
00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:06,593
童年时期长期暴露在家庭情绪暴力中的人

177
00:06:06,665 --> 00:06:10,504
成年后出现抑郁、焦虑和慢性疾病的概率

178
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,634
是普通人的两到四倍

179
00:06:12,944 --> 00:06:13,334
而且

180
00:06:13,584 --> 00:06:15,223
这些人成为父母之后

181
00:06:15,225 --> 00:06:19,353
对自己孩子采取同样模式的概率也显著偏高

182
00:06:19,904 --> 00:06:20,694
情绪暴力

183
00:06:21,064 --> 00:06:22,194
是会遗传的

184
00:06:22,545 --> 00:06:23,754
不是通过基因

185
00:06:23,944 --> 00:06:26,634
而是通过神经系统的模式复制

186
00:06:26,824 --> 00:06:28,334
讲到这里你可能会问

187
00:06:28,865 --> 00:06:29,454
那怎么办

188
00:06:30,024 --> 00:06:30,973
忍住不发火

189
00:06:31,584 --> 00:06:32,394
不是的

190
00:06:32,824 --> 00:06:33,014
忍

191
00:06:33,464 --> 00:06:35,314
是最危险的操作之一

192
00:06:35,665 --> 00:06:36,934
忍的本质是什么

193
00:06:37,345 --> 00:06:38,353
是压制

194
00:06:38,824 --> 00:06:40,903
你把那股能量按下去了

195
00:06:40,904 --> 00:06:42,233
但它没有消失

196
00:06:42,665 --> 00:06:44,913
它被塞进了身体的某个角落

197
00:06:45,345 --> 00:06:46,384
日积月累

198
00:06:46,384 --> 00:06:48,673
它会以另一种形式爆发出来

199
00:06:49,144 --> 00:06:51,704
有些人的爆发方式是突然暴怒

200
00:06:51,704 --> 00:06:54,553
莫名其妙地对一件小事大发雷霆

201
00:06:54,944 --> 00:06:57,593
有些人的爆发方式是向内坍缩

202
00:06:57,665 --> 00:07:00,663
变成持续的低落、麻木、失眠

203
00:07:00,665 --> 00:07:01,954
甚至身体疾病

204
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,593
中医说百病生于气

205
00:07:04,785 --> 00:07:08,694
现代心理学说长期的情绪压抑与免疫功能下降

206
00:07:08,785 --> 00:07:09,793
高度相关

207
00:07:09,985 --> 00:07:11,353
说的是同一件事

208
00:07:11,824 --> 00:07:13,514
忍不是解决方案

209
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:16,673
忍只是把定时炸弹的引线藏起来了

210
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:17,894
倒给别人不行

211
00:07:18,225 --> 00:07:20,233
忍在自己身上也不行

212
00:07:20,584 --> 00:07:21,413
那到底怎么办

213
00:07:21,944 --> 00:07:24,353
这就回到那位观众说的那句话了

214
00:07:24,704 --> 00:07:27,994
让情绪在自己这里成为终点站

215
00:07:28,425 --> 00:07:28,774
注意

216
00:07:29,105 --> 00:07:31,314
终点站不是垃圾填埋场

217
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:34,194
不是说你把别人的情绪都吞下去

218
00:07:34,545 --> 00:07:35,733
终点站的意思是

219
00:07:36,105 --> 00:07:37,913
情绪到了你这里

220
00:07:37,944 --> 00:07:40,514
你有能力让它的能量归零

221
00:07:40,824 --> 00:07:44,233
它不再是一股必须传递出去的力量

222
00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:45,494
它在你这里

223
00:07:45,704 --> 00:07:46,704
被看见

224
00:07:46,704 --> 00:07:47,334
被理解

225
00:07:47,704 --> 00:07:49,793
然后安静地消散了

226
00:07:50,264 --> 00:07:51,053
怎么做到呢

227
00:07:51,584 --> 00:07:54,634
那位观众用了一个非常精准的描述

228
00:07:55,024 --> 00:07:55,374
他说

229
00:07:55,824 --> 00:07:57,413
在感和受之间

230
00:07:57,785 --> 00:07:58,874
暂停一秒

231
00:07:59,264 --> 00:07:59,733
这一秒

232
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,673
在神经科学里有明确的对应

233
00:08:03,185 --> 00:08:06,153
当外界刺激触发你的情绪反应时

234
00:08:06,345 --> 00:08:09,634
杏仁核会在极短的时间内发出警报

235
00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:12,473
快到你的意识根本来不及参与

236
00:08:12,764 --> 00:08:13,504
但是

237
00:08:13,504 --> 00:08:17,673
从杏仁核发出警报到你的身体做出反应之间

238
00:08:17,824 --> 00:08:20,553
有一个大约半秒到一秒的窗口

239
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在这个窗口里

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前额叶皮层有机会介入

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对这个信号进行重新评估

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修行训练的核心

243
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就是拓宽这个窗口

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加州大学洛杉矶分校的利伯曼教授做过一个

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经典的脑成像实验

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他让受试者在看到愤怒的面孔时

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用一个词来描述自己的感受

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仅仅是给情绪命名这一个动作

249
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就能让杏仁核的活动显著减弱

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你不需要分析情绪

251
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不需要追溯它的源头

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你只需要在它升起的那一刻

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看见它

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然后在心里说一句

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这是愤怒

256
00:09:01,184 --> 00:09:02,994
就这么简单的一个动作

257
00:09:03,024 --> 00:09:06,354
就能让那股能量的强度打一个大折扣

258
00:09:06,784 --> 00:09:09,913
佛学两千五百年前就发现了这个机制

259
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四念处里的受念处

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练的就是这件事

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感受升起的时候

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不跟着跑

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不压制它

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只是如实观察

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这是苦受

266
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这是乐受

267
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这是不苦不乐受

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在观察的那一刻

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你和感受之间产生了一个距离

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有了距离

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你就不再被它劫持

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这就是那位观众说的

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用观察和觉知

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让负能量坍缩成零能量的中性信息

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能量没有被传递给别人

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也没有被压制在自己体内

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它被看见了

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然后它自然地消散了

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你可能会说

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这说起来容易

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做起来太难了

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我被气到头顶冒烟的时候

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哪有什么半秒钟的窗口

284
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根本刹不住车

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说得对

286
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这就是为什么它叫修行

287
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不叫知识

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00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:02,793
知识是一秒钟就能明白的事

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修行是你需要反复练习

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00:10:05,745 --> 00:10:10,234
直到那个暂停从一个刻意的动作变成一种本能反应

291
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就像学开车

292
00:10:12,184 --> 00:10:15,234
刚开始你需要刻意去想每一个步骤

293
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练到后来

294
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手脚会自己做正确的事

295
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但在你的练习还不够深的时候

296
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确实可能刹不住

297
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怎么办

298
00:10:24,544 --> 00:10:26,714
有一个物理层面的应急方法

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当你感觉情绪已经完全失控的时候

300
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走到洗手间

301
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打开冷水龙头

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把冷水泼在脸上

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这不是民间偏方

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冷水刺激面部皮肤

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会激活我们从哺乳动物祖先那里继承的一个古老机制

306
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叫做潜水反射

307
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当冷水接触到额头和脸颊的时候

308
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三叉神经会立刻向脑干发送信号

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迷走神经被激活

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心率在几秒钟内下降百分之十到二十五

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副交感神经系统接管控制权

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简单来说

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你的身体被强制从战斗模式切换到了恢复模式

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那股冲到头顶的能量

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被一盆冷水物理性地拦截了

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你有没有想过

317
00:11:09,985 --> 00:11:11,874
电影里有一个经典桥段

318
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一个男的对一个女的出言不逊

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女的二话不说

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拿起桌上的杯子

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把水泼到他脸上

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我们以前只觉得这是一种态度表达

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痛快、解气

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但现在你知道了

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这个动作是有科学依据的

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冷水打在脸上

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潜水反射启动

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心率下降

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交感神经被踩了刹车

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那杯水泼出去

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本质上就是在帮对方强制冷静

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所以下次你在电影里看到这个场景

333
00:11:41,865 --> 00:11:44,433
你可以带着全新的眼光欣赏它

334
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那不只是一巴掌的替代品

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那是一次精准的神经干预

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但你要记住

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这只是一个应急刹车

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不是修行本身

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它能帮你在当下避免把情绪倾倒给家人

340
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但它不能从根本上改变你处理情绪的方式

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真正的改变

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还是要回到那个半秒钟的窗口里去练习

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哈佛大学拉扎尔教授的研究团队发现

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持续八周的正念训练之后

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受试者大脑的前额叶皮层灰质密度显著增加

346
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而杏仁核的灰质密度则明显缩小

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前额叶变厚

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意味着你的刹车性能变强了

349
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杏仁核缩小

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意味着你的警报器不那么容易被误触发了

351
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不是你变得没有情绪了

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00:12:31,945 --> 00:12:35,354
是你对情绪的处理方式发生了根本变化

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你从一个中转站变成了一个终点站

354
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情绪到了你这里

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你有能力把它安全地化解掉

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而不是打包转发给下一个人

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你有没有想过一个问题

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如果一个家庭里的每个人都是中转站

359
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情绪就会在家庭成员之间无限循环

360
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丈夫传给妻子

361
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妻子传给孩子

362
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孩子长大后传给自己的伴侣和孩子

363
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这个循环可以持续几代人

364
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从来没有人意识到它的存在

365
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但如果家里有一个人变成了终点站呢

366
00:13:06,904 --> 00:13:10,313
只要有一个人能在情绪到达自己这里的时候说

367
00:13:10,313 --> 00:13:11,024
好了

368
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到我这里为止

369
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不再往下传了

370
00:13:13,664 --> 00:13:15,594
这个人就打破了整个循环

371
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他不需要去改变其他人

372
00:13:17,784 --> 00:13:20,553
他只需要改变自己处理情绪的方式

373
00:13:20,945 --> 00:13:23,313
我之前在一期视频里讲过

374
00:13:23,544 --> 00:13:25,953
家庭是一个能量的共振场

375
00:13:26,304 --> 00:13:29,073
父母的内心如果有未化解的怒

376
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这个怒不需要通过语言、不需要通过暴力

377
00:13:33,144 --> 00:13:34,504
它只需要存在

378
00:13:34,504 --> 00:13:36,793
就会在孩子身上显化出来

379
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:39,634
孩子不是看着你做什么长大的

380
00:13:39,664 --> 00:13:43,114
孩子是在你的能量场里被熏习长大的

381
00:13:43,345 --> 00:13:45,073
今天这位观众的留言

382
00:13:45,105 --> 00:13:47,754
从另一个角度印证了同一件事

383
00:13:48,105 --> 00:13:49,874
家庭里的负面情绪

384
00:13:49,904 --> 00:13:51,833
从来不会凭空消失

385
00:13:52,105 --> 00:13:54,234
它只会在成员之间流动

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00:13:54,424 --> 00:13:57,714
直到遇到一个有能力让它停下来的人

387
00:13:57,985 --> 00:13:59,354
这个人可以是你

388
00:13:59,945 --> 00:14:01,274
但它有一个前提

389
00:14:01,784 --> 00:14:04,994
你不能用生吞下去的方式来做终点站

390
00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:06,974
吞下去不是化解

391
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是填埋

392
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迟早有一天会爆发一个更大的情绪

393
00:14:12,424 --> 00:14:14,553
真正的终点站是透明的

394
00:14:15,024 --> 00:14:16,094
情绪穿过你

395
00:14:16,544 --> 00:14:18,913
但不在你体内留下残余

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00:14:19,264 --> 00:14:20,134
你看见了它

397
00:14:20,585 --> 00:14:22,114
你理解了它的来源

398
00:14:22,264 --> 00:14:24,153
然后你放它走了

399
00:14:24,544 --> 00:14:25,453
这需要练习吗

400
00:14:25,904 --> 00:14:26,913
当然需要

401
00:14:27,105 --> 00:14:28,354
但好消息是

402
00:14:28,384 --> 00:14:32,634
每一次你在那个半秒钟的窗口里成功暂停了一次

403
00:14:32,745 --> 00:14:35,433
你的神经回路就被重写了一点点

404
00:14:35,705 --> 00:14:36,533
每一次成功

405
00:14:36,825 --> 00:14:38,754
都在为下一次成功铺路

406
00:14:39,065 --> 00:14:42,953
下次当你感到一股愤怒或委屈涌上来的时候

407
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在你开口之前

408
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:46,514
试着给自己一秒钟

409
00:14:46,945 --> 00:14:48,313
看看这股情绪

410
00:14:48,664 --> 00:14:49,173
问问它

411
00:14:49,664 --> 00:14:50,533
你从哪里来的

412
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:53,374
你真的是对眼前这个人生气吗

413
00:14:53,865 --> 00:14:55,573
还是你只是在找一个出口

414
00:14:56,184 --> 00:14:58,714
如果你能在那一秒钟里看见它

415
00:14:58,784 --> 00:15:00,274
你就已经赢了一半

416
00:15:00,465 --> 00:15:04,114
如果你能在看见之后选择不把它传递出去

417
00:15:04,225 --> 00:15:08,073
你就打破了一条可能已经延续了几代人的锁链

418
00:15:08,264 --> 00:15:11,714
修行从来不是一个人坐在蒲团上的奢侈品

419
00:15:11,904 --> 00:15:14,073
修行是你能送给你的家人

420
00:15:14,105 --> 00:15:15,514
最贵重的礼物

421
00:15:15,904 --> 00:15:17,474
你觉得你在生活中

422
00:15:17,504 --> 00:15:19,994
更多时候是情绪的终点站

423
00:15:20,024 --> 00:15:20,854
还是中转站

424
00:15:21,345 --> 00:15:22,433
评论区聊聊

425
00:15:22,745 --> 00:15:23,573
我是王利杰

426
00:15:23,904 --> 00:15:24,759
我们下期见