1
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佛陀从不对弟子发火

2
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不是因为脾气好

3
00:00:03,907 --> 00:00:05,591
有一位观众给我留言

4
00:00:06,067 --> 00:00:07,511
她说自己是老师

5
00:00:07,666 --> 00:00:10,151
班上有几个学生怎么教都不开窍

6
00:00:10,426 --> 00:00:12,912
她本着要带好每一个学生的想法

7
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,391
经常给他们开小灶

8
00:00:14,586 --> 00:00:17,231
结果每次讲题都把自己气得不行

9
00:00:17,507 --> 00:00:17,852
她说

10
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我知道自己不应该发火

11
00:00:20,067 --> 00:00:21,591
但他们真的太笨了

12
00:00:21,707 --> 00:00:24,591
然后她说了一句让我停下来想了很久的话

13
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她说

14
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我觉得自己造了好多口业

15
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哈喽

16
00:00:28,831 --> 00:00:29,256
大家好

17
00:00:29,550 --> 00:00:30,515
我是王利杰

18
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:31,869
今天这一期

19
00:00:31,870 --> 00:00:33,715
我想聊聊这位老师的困境

20
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不是因为它只跟老师有关

21
00:00:36,111 --> 00:00:39,435
而是因为它跟每一个想要帮助别人的人都有关

22
00:00:39,751 --> 00:00:43,836
做父母的 带团队的 做投资的 陪伴朋友的

23
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你只要曾经想过

24
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我要帮他变得更好

25
00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:49,315
你大概率就经历过同样的愤怒

26
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我先问你一个问题

27
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佛陀教了四十五年

28
00:00:53,738 --> 00:00:55,984
弟子从几个人到上千人

29
00:00:56,138 --> 00:00:57,744
根器千差万别

30
00:00:58,098 --> 00:00:59,583
有舍利弗这样的

31
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听一句话就证了初果

32
00:01:01,899 --> 00:01:04,024
也有周利槃陀伽这样的

33
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笨到连两句偈颂都记不住

34
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师兄弟们都嫌弃他

35
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觉得这个人不是修行的料

36
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但是你翻遍所有的经典

37
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你找不到佛陀对任何一个弟子发过火

38
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一次都没有

39
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你可能会说

40
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那是因为佛陀修行到家了

41
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境界高

42
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脾气好

43
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不是的

44
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如果佛陀只是脾气好

45
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那他就只是一个情商高的老师

46
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他不是佛陀

47
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佛陀不发火

48
00:01:33,219 --> 00:01:34,583
不是因为他在忍

49
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而是因为他的意识结构里

50
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根本不存在发火的那个触发条件

51
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这个触发条件是什么

52
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我们一会儿再说

53
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先讲一个禅宗里我非常喜欢的故事

54
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唐代有一位禅师叫赵州从谂

55
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活了一百二十岁

56
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是禅宗史上最温柔也最锐利的老师之一

57
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他从不打人

58
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从不骂人

59
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但他说出来的话

60
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比棍棒还有穿透力

61
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有一天

62
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两个僧人先后来参访赵州

63
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赵州问第一个僧人

64
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你以前来过这里吗

65
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僧人说

66
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来过

67
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赵州说

68
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吃茶去

69
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他又问第二个僧人

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你来过这里吗

71
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僧人说

72
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没来过

73
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赵州说

74
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吃茶去

75
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旁边的院主就纳闷了

76
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他跑去问赵州

77
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师父

78
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来过的你也让他吃茶去

79
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没来过的你也让他吃茶去

80
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这是什么意思

81
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赵州叫他的名字

82
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院主

83
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院主应了一声

84
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在

85
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赵州说

86
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吃茶去

87
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这个公案记在 五灯会元 第四卷里

88
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流传了一千多年

89
00:02:42,273 --> 00:02:43,759
解读的角度很多

90
00:02:43,993 --> 00:02:47,558
但今天我只想从那位老师的困境来看它

91
00:02:48,175 --> 00:02:49,180
你有没有发现

92
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院主问赵州的那个问题

93
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本质上跟这位老师面对的问题一模一样

94
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来过的和没来过的

95
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学得快的和学得慢的

96
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开窍的和不开窍的

97
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你对他们的回应难道不应该不一样吗

98
00:03:03,895 --> 00:03:06,255
基础好的学生你讲深一点

99
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基础差的学生你讲浅一点

100
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这不是因材施教吗

101
00:03:10,377 --> 00:03:11,178
对

102
00:03:11,376 --> 00:03:12,601
从技术层面来说

103
00:03:12,816 --> 00:03:14,101
这完全正确

104
00:03:14,416 --> 00:03:18,261
好的教学当然需要根据学生的情况调整方法

105
00:03:19,105 --> 00:03:21,631
但赵州的回答不在技术层面

106
00:03:21,786 --> 00:03:23,711
他在说一件更深的事情

107
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他在说

108
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你的回应从哪里来

109
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比你回应了什么更重要

110
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如果你的回应来自一个分别心

111
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来自一个判断

112
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来过的是这一类

113
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没来过的是那一类

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基础好的值得多花时间

115
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基础差的让我心烦

116
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那么你的每一次因材施教

117
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都在强化你心里的那把分类尺子

118
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你用这把尺子衡量学生

119
00:03:46,985 --> 00:03:49,031
也在用这把尺子衡量自己

120
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学生达标了

121
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你觉得自己是好老师

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尺子给你打了高分

123
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学生没达标

124
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你觉得自己失败了

125
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尺子给你打了低分

126
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然后低分带来焦虑

127
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焦虑带来愤怒

128
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愤怒带来口业

129
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口业带来自责

130
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整个链条不是从学生笨开始的

131
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是从那把尺子开始的

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赵州的吃茶去

133
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是一个没有尺子的回应

134
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他不是不关心对方来没来过

135
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而是他的回应不被来没来过所绑架

136
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来也好

137
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不来也好

138
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他都从同一个地方回应你

139
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那个地方叫做当下

140
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不是过去的评判

141
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不是未来的期待

142
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就是此刻

143
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你在我面前

144
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我递给你一杯茶

145
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好

146
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现在回到那位老师

147
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她说

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我本着要带好每一个学生的想法

149
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你仔细听这句话

150
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带好每一个学生

151
00:04:47,799 --> 00:04:49,623
这个想法本身是不是很美

152
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是的

153
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这是慈悲心在驱动

154
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但问题是

155
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这个想法里有一个隐藏的结构

156
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把它拆开来看

157
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带好每一个学生

158
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这里面有一个我

159
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有一个好的标准

160
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有一个每一个的执念

161
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我来带

162
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好是我定义的好

163
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每一个意味着零容错

164
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当学生没有按照你定义的好来进步的时候

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你内心升起的愤怒

166
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表面上是对学生的

167
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但如果你安静下来观察那个愤怒

168
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你会发现它真正的对象不是学生

169
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它是那个没有完成任务的自己

170
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你在生自己的气

171
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学生只是一面镜子

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映出了你还没有达到你给自己设定的标准

173
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而这个标准本身是什么

174
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是我是一个好老师

175
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我不会放弃任何一个学生

176
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这是一个身份

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一个你在不知不觉中建造的身份

178
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你以为你在教学生

179
00:05:52,635 --> 00:05:54,921
但你同时在维护一个身份

180
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当学生学不会的时候

181
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受到威胁的不只是教学效果

182
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还有这个身份

183
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唯识学里

184
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这叫末那识的运作

185
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末那识的功能就是时刻维护一个我的边界

186
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它把你的职业身份 你对自己的要求 你的社会角色

187
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全部绑在一起

188
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然后告诉你

189
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这些东西就是你

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一旦有任何事情动摇了这些东西

191
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末那识就会启动防御反应

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愤怒

193
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就是防御反应的一种

194
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你不是在生学生的气

195
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你是末那识在保护好老师这个自我形象

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做了十几年投资

197
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这个机制我太熟悉了

198
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早年投的一个项目

199
00:06:38,291 --> 00:06:40,056
创始人方向走歪了

200
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我拉着他聊了三个小时

201
00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:43,369
讲行业趋势

202
00:06:43,371 --> 00:06:44,316
讲用户数据

203
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讲竞品分析

204
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他点头如捣蒜

205
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回去继续我行我素

206
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第二次聊

207
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第三次聊

208
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还是一样

209
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到第四次

210
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我发火了

211
00:06:54,731 --> 00:06:56,155
我说你到底在不在听

212
00:06:56,731 --> 00:06:59,095
后来有一天我安静下来问自己

213
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我到底在气什么

214
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是气他不听话吗

215
00:07:02,535 --> 00:07:03,292
不是

216
00:07:03,330 --> 00:07:06,689
是气我投了钱 投了时间 投了精力

217
00:07:06,691 --> 00:07:09,335
他的表现让我觉得自己看走了眼

218
00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:12,095
我在保护的不是他的公司

219
00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:13,936
是好投资人这个身份

220
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:15,642
从那以后

221
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我学会了一件事

222
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:17,723
帮

223
00:07:18,098 --> 00:07:18,742
就帮

224
00:07:19,098 --> 00:07:19,803
帮完之后

225
00:07:20,098 --> 00:07:21,202
决定权是他的

226
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不是我的

227
00:07:22,738 --> 00:07:24,742
我只提供信息和判断

228
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,223
不提供情绪绑架

229
00:07:26,658 --> 00:07:27,783
这不是冷漠

230
00:07:27,978 --> 00:07:30,663
这是对他作为一个独立个体的尊重

231
00:07:31,377 --> 00:07:32,742
回到教育也一样

232
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,124
这就是佛陀不发火的真正原因

233
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,638
不是因为他能忍

234
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:41,364
而是因为他没有一个需要被保护的自我形象

235
00:07:41,799 --> 00:07:42,924
他教舍利弗

236
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,124
不是为了证明自己是好老师

237
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,044
他教周利槃陀伽

238
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,765
也不是为了证明自己不放弃任何人

239
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:51,165
他就是在教

240
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,444
教本身就是全部

241
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不需要一个结果来证明它的价值

242
00:07:57,033 --> 00:07:59,359
这位老师说她知道不应该发火

243
00:07:59,393 --> 00:08:00,838
但还是控制不住

244
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知道不应该发火

245
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就是在忍

246
00:08:03,634 --> 00:08:05,239
她在压那个盖子

247
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而我们都知道

248
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盖子压得越紧

249
00:08:07,994 --> 00:08:09,559
蒸汽积累得越多

250
00:08:09,674 --> 00:08:11,638
爆发的时候威力越大

251
00:08:11,913 --> 00:08:12,458
那怎么办

252
00:08:12,953 --> 00:08:13,538
不忍了

253
00:08:14,114 --> 00:08:15,458
对着学生随便发火

254
00:08:16,056 --> 00:08:16,855
不是

255
00:08:17,114 --> 00:08:18,638
出路不在忍不忍

256
00:08:18,713 --> 00:08:21,398
而在看见那个火是从哪里来的

257
00:08:22,541 --> 00:08:24,221
下次你站在学生面前

258
00:08:24,221 --> 00:08:26,307
讲了第三遍他还是不会

259
00:08:26,382 --> 00:08:28,666
你感觉到愤怒升起来的那一刻

260
00:08:28,781 --> 00:08:29,706
试试这个

261
00:08:30,101 --> 00:08:31,127
别急着压下去

262
00:08:31,661 --> 00:08:33,226
也别急着表达出来

263
00:08:33,702 --> 00:08:34,507
看着它

264
00:08:34,942 --> 00:08:37,067
看看这个愤怒是什么形状的

265
00:08:37,502 --> 00:08:39,367
它出现在你身体的哪个位置

266
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:40,526
胸口

267
00:08:41,262 --> 00:08:41,766
太阳穴

268
00:08:42,541 --> 00:08:43,166
下巴紧绷

269
00:08:44,102 --> 00:08:45,546
然后问自己一个问题

270
00:08:46,181 --> 00:08:48,387
我此刻真正害怕的是什么

271
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,053
通常你会发现

272
00:08:50,347 --> 00:08:52,072
不是怕学生考不好

273
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:54,753
是怕自己不是一个称职的老师

274
00:08:55,227 --> 00:08:57,712
你的愤怒不是对学生的失望

275
00:08:57,748 --> 00:09:01,312
是对自己的失望被学生的表现激活了

276
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,033
这不是你的错

277
00:09:03,628 --> 00:09:05,952
我们从小被训练成这样的

278
00:09:06,227 --> 00:09:08,112
你做好了就是好人

279
00:09:08,227 --> 00:09:10,112
你做不好就是坏人

280
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:14,352
这套程序写进了我们每个人的阿赖耶识深处

281
00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:16,673
以种子的形式扎了根

282
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:20,065
说到这里我想分享一个心理学实验

283
00:09:20,099 --> 00:09:21,025
特别有意思

284
00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:22,624
一九六八年

285
00:09:22,660 --> 00:09:26,464
哈佛大学心理学家罗伯特 罗森塔尔发表了一个实验

286
00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:29,344
这个实验是在加州的一所小学做的

287
00:09:29,499 --> 00:09:31,425
他给学生们做了一个测试

288
00:09:31,459 --> 00:09:32,665
然后告诉老师

289
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,378
这些学生经过评估

290
00:09:34,379 --> 00:09:36,665
被认定为最有潜力的学生

291
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,545
未来会有爆发式成长

292
00:09:38,820 --> 00:09:41,138
事实上这些学生是随机挑的

293
00:09:41,139 --> 00:09:42,864
和天赋没有任何关系

294
00:09:43,099 --> 00:09:44,224
但一年之后

295
00:09:44,259 --> 00:09:46,744
这些被贴上潜力股标签的学生

296
00:09:46,859 --> 00:09:50,264
智力测验的分数真的比其他学生提高得更多

297
00:09:50,636 --> 00:09:51,118
为什么

298
00:09:51,574 --> 00:09:53,819
因为老师相信他们是潜力股

299
00:09:54,054 --> 00:09:56,819
这个信念改变了老师看他们的方式

300
00:09:56,973 --> 00:09:59,458
改变了老师和他们互动的方式

301
00:09:59,574 --> 00:10:02,458
改变了老师对他们犯错时的容忍度

302
00:10:02,613 --> 00:10:05,618
改变了老师给他们的微表情和语调

303
00:10:05,894 --> 00:10:07,539
而学生不是傻子

304
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,539
他们能接收到这些信号

305
00:10:09,894 --> 00:10:11,179
老师觉得我行

306
00:10:11,333 --> 00:10:13,258
我就真的开始觉得我行

307
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:16,578
这个实验叫做皮格马利翁效应

308
00:10:16,934 --> 00:10:20,098
它揭示了一个让人后背发凉的现象

309
00:10:20,493 --> 00:10:22,138
你对一个人的预期

310
00:10:22,253 --> 00:10:24,299
会改变那个人的现实

311
00:10:25,075 --> 00:10:27,359
现在把这个发现倒过来看

312
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,280
当这位老师觉得学生太笨了的时候

313
00:10:30,555 --> 00:10:32,800
这个判断不只是一个想法

314
00:10:33,275 --> 00:10:34,520
它是一个投射

315
00:10:35,075 --> 00:10:38,780
它通过你的眼神 你的语调 你的叹气声

316
00:10:39,075 --> 00:10:41,920
你讲到第三遍时越来越快的语速

317
00:10:42,035 --> 00:10:43,759
全部传递给了学生

318
00:10:44,315 --> 00:10:46,060
学生接收到的信号是什么

319
00:10:46,634 --> 00:10:48,359
不是我不会做这道题

320
00:10:48,795 --> 00:10:50,759
而是老师觉得我不行

321
00:10:51,354 --> 00:10:54,320
这个信号比任何教学方法都强大

322
00:10:54,514 --> 00:10:57,359
它直接种进了学生的阿赖耶识里

323
00:10:57,834 --> 00:10:59,999
他不会记得你讲了什么公式

324
00:11:00,195 --> 00:11:03,520
但他会记得你看他时那个失望的眼神

325
00:11:04,107 --> 00:11:06,112
有一个常被引用的解释

326
00:11:06,228 --> 00:11:07,953
叫镜像神经元系统

327
00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:11,066
你的情绪状态会通过非语言通道

328
00:11:11,068 --> 00:11:13,593
被对面的人的大脑自动复制

329
00:11:13,787 --> 00:11:14,747
你在愤怒

330
00:11:14,747 --> 00:11:17,593
学生的大脑也在自动进入防御模式

331
00:11:17,787 --> 00:11:19,426
一个正在防御的大脑

332
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,392
它的学习通道是关闭的

333
00:11:21,468 --> 00:11:22,492
所以你越发火

334
00:11:22,747 --> 00:11:23,912
他越学不会

335
00:11:24,107 --> 00:11:24,853
你越着急

336
00:11:25,107 --> 00:11:26,073
他越紧张

337
00:11:26,267 --> 00:11:27,173
你越想帮他

338
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,872
他越觉得自己不行

339
00:11:29,107 --> 00:11:30,433
这是一个死循环

340
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:33,426
而这个死循环的入口不在学生那里

341
00:11:33,428 --> 00:11:34,392
在你这里

342
00:11:35,090 --> 00:11:35,835
怎么打破它

343
00:11:36,489 --> 00:11:37,494
回到赵州

344
00:11:38,090 --> 00:11:39,014
吃茶去

345
00:11:39,649 --> 00:11:41,975
吃茶去不是一个教学方法

346
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:43,335
它是一个状态

347
00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:44,815
它的意思是

348
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:47,975
我不被你学得快还是学得慢所绑架

349
00:11:48,409 --> 00:11:48,994
你学得快

350
00:11:49,450 --> 00:11:49,835
很好

351
00:11:50,249 --> 00:11:51,374
我们喝杯茶

352
00:11:51,730 --> 00:11:52,274
你学得慢

353
00:11:52,649 --> 00:11:53,075
也好

354
00:11:53,409 --> 00:11:54,494
我们喝杯茶

355
00:11:54,970 --> 00:11:56,534
不是因为我不在乎

356
00:11:56,690 --> 00:11:57,394
恰恰相反

357
00:11:57,769 --> 00:11:59,215
正是因为我在乎

358
00:11:59,249 --> 00:12:02,254
所以我不让我的在乎变成你的压力

359
00:12:02,549 --> 00:12:05,274
真正的慈悲不是我要带好每一个学生

360
00:12:05,669 --> 00:12:06,914
真正的慈悲是

361
00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:09,914
我允许每一个学生按自己的节奏开花

362
00:12:10,509 --> 00:12:11,894
你觉得这两句话很像吗

363
00:12:12,509 --> 00:12:13,495
它们之间的距离

364
00:12:13,830 --> 00:12:15,554
比你以为的远得多

365
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:17,855
第一句话里有一个主语

366
00:12:18,189 --> 00:12:18,674
我

367
00:12:19,429 --> 00:12:20,595
我要带好

368
00:12:21,029 --> 00:12:21,855
这是一个项目

369
00:12:22,070 --> 00:12:23,235
你是项目经理

370
00:12:23,350 --> 00:12:24,995
学生是你的交付物

371
00:12:25,189 --> 00:12:26,735
学不会就是项目延期

372
00:12:27,110 --> 00:12:28,235
你当然要急

373
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:29,934
第二句话里那个我

374
00:12:30,269 --> 00:12:31,394
退到了背景

375
00:12:31,789 --> 00:12:33,274
主语变成了学生

376
00:12:33,710 --> 00:12:35,595
我只是提供土壤和水

377
00:12:35,990 --> 00:12:36,654
开花的事

378
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,794
是种子自己的节奏

379
00:12:39,841 --> 00:12:41,487
佛陀就是这么教的

380
00:12:42,002 --> 00:12:43,367
他不追着弟子跑

381
00:12:43,841 --> 00:12:44,387
他说法

382
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,046
你听得进去就听

383
00:12:46,321 --> 00:12:48,046
听不进去就下次再来

384
00:12:48,522 --> 00:12:51,487
他知道每颗种子都有自己的成熟时间

385
00:12:52,041 --> 00:12:54,127
周利槃陀伽记不住偈颂

386
00:12:54,281 --> 00:12:56,121
佛陀就给他一把扫帚

387
00:12:56,122 --> 00:12:57,166
让他扫地

388
00:12:57,642 --> 00:12:58,186
一边扫

389
00:12:58,522 --> 00:12:59,507
一边念两个字

390
00:13:00,041 --> 00:13:00,767
除垢

391
00:13:01,201 --> 00:13:02,306
扫了很久很久

392
00:13:02,722 --> 00:13:04,566
有一天他忽然明白了

393
00:13:04,961 --> 00:13:06,147
灰尘不在地上

394
00:13:06,482 --> 00:13:07,367
在心里

395
00:13:07,722 --> 00:13:09,647
然后他证了阿罗汉

396
00:13:10,631 --> 00:13:11,956
佛陀等得起

397
00:13:12,231 --> 00:13:13,516
是因为他不急

398
00:13:13,831 --> 00:13:14,636
他不急

399
00:13:14,672 --> 00:13:16,996
是因为他没有一个好老师的身份

400
00:13:17,032 --> 00:13:19,236
需要被学生的成绩来验证

401
00:13:19,552 --> 00:13:21,677
这才是不发火的真正秘密

402
00:13:21,991 --> 00:13:23,516
不是忍耐力更强

403
00:13:23,792 --> 00:13:26,236
是需要被满足的东西更少

404
00:13:26,866 --> 00:13:29,432
我们之前聊过那个装满咖啡的杯子

405
00:13:29,586 --> 00:13:30,951
你洒出来的东西

406
00:13:31,147 --> 00:13:32,991
不是你在那一刻决定的

407
00:13:33,027 --> 00:13:34,751
是你之前装进去的

408
00:13:34,907 --> 00:13:36,471
今天我想加一句

409
00:13:36,706 --> 00:13:38,432
你装进去的东西里面

410
00:13:38,507 --> 00:13:40,265
最容易被忽略的一种

411
00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:42,351
就是你对自己的身份期待

412
00:13:42,866 --> 00:13:46,591
好老师 好父母 好领导 好伴侣

413
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,632
这些身份本身没有错

414
00:13:48,907 --> 00:13:51,792
但当它们变成了你定义自己的方式

415
00:13:51,946 --> 00:13:54,831
当有人的表现动摇了这些身份的时候

416
00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:57,512
你的反应就不再是理性的了

417
00:13:57,626 --> 00:13:59,231
那是本能的防御

418
00:13:59,810 --> 00:14:00,648
这位老师

419
00:14:00,649 --> 00:14:03,294
你不需要变成佛陀才能不发火

420
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,134
你只需要看见一件事

421
00:14:05,529 --> 00:14:07,288
你对学生发的那场火

422
00:14:07,289 --> 00:14:09,534
最深处烧的不是学生的笨

423
00:14:09,769 --> 00:14:11,894
是你对自己不够好的恐惧

424
00:14:12,369 --> 00:14:13,475
当你看见了这一点

425
00:14:13,850 --> 00:14:15,374
火不会立刻消失

426
00:14:15,810 --> 00:14:17,254
但它的性质会变

427
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,894
它从一团你无法控制的野火

428
00:14:20,009 --> 00:14:22,134
变成了一盏你可以观察的灯

429
00:14:22,767 --> 00:14:24,612
然后你会发现一件有趣的事

430
00:14:24,926 --> 00:14:27,492
当你不再急着要把学生教会的时候

431
00:14:27,526 --> 00:14:29,291
他们反而开始学会了

432
00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:30,811
因为你的放松

433
00:14:30,926 --> 00:14:33,451
通过镜像神经元传给了他们

434
00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:34,472
你的接纳

435
00:14:34,767 --> 00:14:36,972
让他们的防御系统关闭了

436
00:14:37,286 --> 00:14:39,451
他们的学习通道打开了

437
00:14:39,967 --> 00:14:41,331
你什么都没多做

438
00:14:41,646 --> 00:14:45,492
只是把杯子里那个好老师的身份放下了一点点

439
00:14:45,646 --> 00:14:47,771
教室里的空气就变了

440
00:14:48,286 --> 00:14:49,031
你的教室

441
00:14:49,406 --> 00:14:50,691
就是你的道场

442
00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:52,852
每一个不开窍的学生

443
00:14:53,007 --> 00:14:56,852
都是来帮你看见自己杯子里装了什么的善知识

444
00:14:57,327 --> 00:14:59,972
我甚至想说一句可能让你不舒服的话

445
00:15:00,406 --> 00:15:02,291
那些最让你抓狂的学生

446
00:15:02,327 --> 00:15:04,011
恰恰是你最好的老师

447
00:15:04,406 --> 00:15:07,572
因为学得快的学生不会触发你的任何东西

448
00:15:07,927 --> 00:15:09,326
只有学得慢的学生

449
00:15:09,327 --> 00:15:12,606
才能把你杯子里藏得最深的那个东西逼出来

450
00:15:12,606 --> 00:15:13,572
让你看见

451
00:15:13,927 --> 00:15:16,611
如果你的杯子里装的只是对知识的热爱

452
00:15:16,727 --> 00:15:18,932
那么不管学生学得快还是慢

453
00:15:19,006 --> 00:15:20,852
你洒出来的都是耐心

454
00:15:21,286 --> 00:15:24,611
但如果杯子里还装了一个我是好老师的身份

455
00:15:24,766 --> 00:15:26,371
那学生一旦不配合

456
00:15:26,406 --> 00:15:28,692
洒出来的就是焦虑和愤怒

457
00:15:29,087 --> 00:15:29,991
这不是道德问题

458
00:15:30,366 --> 00:15:31,371
是结构问题

459
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:33,151
改变结构

460
00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:35,491
比强迫自己改变脾气

461
00:15:35,526 --> 00:15:36,731
有效一万倍

462
00:15:37,614 --> 00:15:39,099
你说你造了口业

463
00:15:39,575 --> 00:15:40,820
但你有没有想过

464
00:15:41,014 --> 00:15:42,979
正因为你意识到了这一点

465
00:15:43,055 --> 00:15:45,499
你已经比大多数人走得更远了

466
00:15:45,894 --> 00:15:48,499
觉察本身就是修行的起点

467
00:15:48,774 --> 00:15:49,599
不怕念起

468
00:15:50,014 --> 00:15:51,219
只怕觉迟

469
00:15:51,734 --> 00:15:52,700
你没有迟

470
00:15:53,175 --> 00:15:54,239
下次发火的时候

471
00:15:54,734 --> 00:15:55,899
别急着自责

472
00:15:56,094 --> 00:15:57,580
也别急着压下去

473
00:15:57,935 --> 00:15:59,019
就看着它

474
00:15:59,415 --> 00:16:01,099
然后给自己倒一杯茶

475
00:16:01,614 --> 00:16:02,540
吃茶去

476
00:16:03,402 --> 00:16:06,407
这一期我特别想听听评论区老师们的感受

477
00:16:06,642 --> 00:16:08,667
你在课堂上对学生发过火吗

478
00:16:09,122 --> 00:16:11,066
那一刻你身体里发生了什么

479
00:16:11,561 --> 00:16:12,887
如果你也是学生

480
00:16:12,922 --> 00:16:15,346
你的老师发火时你感受到了什么

481
00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:16,466
我是王利杰

482
00:16:16,681 --> 00:16:17,754
我们下期见