1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:01,333 After Awakening 2 00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:03,200 Are the emotions and desires still there? 3 00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:04,433 Tesla gave me the answer 4 00:00:05,233 --> 00:00:06,700 If you really wake up 5 00:00:06,733 --> 00:00:08,733 Is there no more emotions and six desires? 6 00:00:08,866 --> 00:00:11,433 Does it become a cold wooden man? 7 00:00:11,433 --> 00:00:13,200 Lover walks by you 8 00:00:13,233 --> 00:00:15,033 You have no waves in your heart 9 00:00:15,033 --> 00:00:16,433 Parents get old and sick 10 00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,400 You can't even cry 11 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,733 Eat your favorite dish 12 00:00:20,133 --> 00:00:21,900 You just smiled 13 00:00:21,933 --> 00:00:24,100 It's like chewing on a piece of tasteless paper. 14 00:00:24,166 --> 00:00:26,566 This is a question I was asked recently by a viewer backstage. 15 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,266 She said she was curious about spiritual practice 16 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:32,933 But when I think about the awakening, I don't even have any joy, anger and sadness 17 00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:34,700 She was too scared to go any further 18 00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:36,066 She says 19 00:00:36,066 --> 00:00:37,233 This awakening 20 00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:37,633 I don't want it. 21 00:00:38,033 --> 00:00:38,266 Hello 22 00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:39,000 Hello. 23 00:00:39,033 --> 00:00:39,666 I am Wang Lijie 24 00:00:40,566 --> 00:00:43,100 And I really want to answer that question seriously today. 25 00:00:43,133 --> 00:00:45,233 Because it wasn't just her. 26 00:00:45,266 --> 00:00:48,900 It could be 99 percent of the people who are curious about the practice. 27 00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:50,133 The greatest threshold in my heart 28 00:00:51,166 --> 00:00:52,800 Even I can say that 29 00:00:52,833 --> 00:00:53,866 This misunderstanding 30 00:00:53,866 --> 00:00:57,166 Directly blocking the vast majority of people from true awakening 31 00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:59,966 They think awakening is a pair of scissors 32 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,733 Cut out all the living things in people's hearts 33 00:01:03,733 --> 00:01:06,533 They thought the Enlightened One was a stone statue 34 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:07,500 Wind and rain 35 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:08,833 Just sitting there empty 36 00:01:09,433 --> 00:01:10,866 I want to tell you today 37 00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,066 That's not true at all. 38 00:01:12,733 --> 00:01:16,233 And I'm going to use something you probably see every day 39 00:01:16,266 --> 00:01:17,900 Give you an extremely accurate answer 40 00:01:18,733 --> 00:01:19,733 This thing 41 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,700 Tesla's Fully Autonomous Driving 42 00:01:22,366 --> 00:01:22,933 So let me start with a conclusion. 43 00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:24,666 awareness 44 00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:25,800 Doesn't mean no emotion 45 00:01:26,766 --> 00:01:27,800 seven emotions and six desires 46 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:28,533 Not one less 47 00:01:29,433 --> 00:01:30,466 joys and sorrows 48 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:31,933 Greed and doubt 49 00:01:31,933 --> 00:01:32,666 Everything is still there. 50 00:01:33,633 --> 00:01:35,833 The awakened person is not missing something. 51 00:01:35,866 --> 00:01:37,000 It's one more thing. 52 00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:39,200 More of that stuff 53 00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,333 It's called awareness itself. 54 00:01:40,933 --> 00:01:42,366 You can imagine 55 00:01:42,366 --> 00:01:44,533 Tesla's latest fully autonomous driving mode 56 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,866 You're in the driver's seat. 57 00:01:46,866 --> 00:01:49,100 The car makes its own direction, changes its own lane 58 00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:51,100 You overtake. You avoid pedestrians. 59 00:01:51,866 --> 00:01:53,200 In this mode 60 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,600 You can actually do three things. 61 00:01:55,233 --> 00:01:55,900 first 62 00:01:55,900 --> 00:01:56,733 You can sleep through it. 63 00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:58,633 Eyes closed 64 00:01:58,666 --> 00:01:59,400 Leave it all to the car 65 00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:02,300 Drive the car however you want 66 00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:03,733 Encounter small pits and valleys 67 00:02:03,733 --> 00:02:05,066 It handles it itself 68 00:02:05,066 --> 00:02:06,433 Slow down when you hit the brakes. 69 00:02:06,466 --> 00:02:07,166 It judges for itself 70 00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:08,733 You are not involved at all 71 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:10,300 second 72 00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:10,900 You can watch 73 00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:13,900 Eyes wide open 74 00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:17,566 Every lane change, every acceleration, every brake 75 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:18,500 You see it all 76 00:02:19,266 --> 00:02:20,233 You see it. 77 00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:22,333 But you didn't put your hands back on the steering wheel 78 00:02:23,033 --> 00:02:24,466 You're just a sober passenger 79 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:26,300 third 80 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:26,966 You can take over 81 00:02:28,633 --> 00:02:32,466 When the car is about to run into a situation that you judge to be very dangerous 82 00:02:32,466 --> 00:02:34,800 Your hand grabs the steering wheel 83 00:02:34,833 --> 00:02:36,633 Override autonomous driving 84 00:02:36,633 --> 00:02:38,133 Complete the action you want 85 00:02:38,933 --> 00:02:40,333 After the danger has passed 86 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,833 You put the car back in automatic mode. 87 00:02:42,866 --> 00:02:43,833 Keep watching 88 00:02:43,933 --> 00:02:45,133 Ordinary people's lives 89 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,133 That's the first one. 90 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:47,433 fall asleep 91 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,933 Your emotions run automatically at the bottom 92 00:02:50,933 --> 00:02:52,866 When anger comes, you become angry 93 00:02:52,866 --> 00:02:55,100 When greed comes, you pounce on it 94 00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:57,033 When jealousy comes, you get sour 95 00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:00,066 You have no idea who's driving the car. 96 00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:01,466 You are the car itself 97 00:03:02,333 --> 00:03:04,100 Or more accurately 98 00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:06,133 You think you are the car itself 99 00:03:07,066 --> 00:03:07,933 Awakened Man 100 00:03:07,933 --> 00:03:10,466 It is a mixed state of the second plus the third. 101 00:03:11,366 --> 00:03:12,500 The car is still running 102 00:03:12,533 --> 00:03:13,300 The mood is still up 103 00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:16,400 It's just that there's an extra awake person in the driver's seat 104 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,600 He's looking at what happens, how it inflates. 105 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,600 How do you attempt to hijack an entire car? 106 00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,433 Most of the time he just watches 107 00:03:24,433 --> 00:03:28,000 No shot - because the shot itself is another kind of entanglement 108 00:03:29,066 --> 00:03:32,800 Only when the emotion is about to crash the car into a cliff 109 00:03:32,833 --> 00:03:33,866 He will take over 110 00:03:34,733 --> 00:03:36,700 Before saying something that shouldn't be said 111 00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:37,833 Stop for half a second 112 00:03:37,866 --> 00:03:39,366 Before slamming the door 113 00:03:39,366 --> 00:03:39,866 Take a breath 114 00:03:40,733 --> 00:03:41,466 And then... 115 00:03:41,466 --> 00:03:44,166 He returned it to the autonomous system. 116 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:44,766 Keep watching 117 00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:46,233 Can you see it? 118 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,166 Awareness is not scissors 119 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:53,900 Awareness is the sleeping passenger in the back seat who should have been awake 120 00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:54,933 Finally opened my eyes 121 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,233 This metaphor is not poetic 122 00:03:57,233 --> 00:03:59,500 It has a very hard counterpart in neuroscience. 123 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:01,766 You have two systems in your brain. 124 00:04:02,333 --> 00:04:04,066 One is the limbic system. 125 00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:05,866 The core is the amygdala. 126 00:04:05,866 --> 00:04:07,300 Responsible for the automatic generation of emotions 127 00:04:08,233 --> 00:04:09,766 How fast is the amygdala? 128 00:04:09,966 --> 00:04:12,133 From a stimulus into your eyes 129 00:04:12,166 --> 00:04:14,700 Until it commands your body to secrete adrenaline 130 00:04:14,733 --> 00:04:16,066 It only takes about a hundred milliseconds 131 00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:17,866 That is to say 132 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,933 Before you realize you're angry 133 00:04:19,933 --> 00:04:21,466 Your body is already angry 134 00:04:22,166 --> 00:04:24,266 That anger is not your decision 135 00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,600 It's a hardware response that has evolved over hundreds of millions of years. 136 00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:28,133 You can't turn it off 137 00:04:28,133 --> 00:04:28,966 You don't need to close 138 00:04:29,733 --> 00:04:31,933 It's one of the reasons your ancestors survived. 139 00:04:33,033 --> 00:04:35,166 Another system is prefrontal cortex. 140 00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:38,800 Especially the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex and the anterior cingulate cortex 141 00:04:39,533 --> 00:04:40,933 It's responsible for metacognition. 142 00:04:40,933 --> 00:04:43,266 It's the ability to observe what you're perceiving. 143 00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:45,533 It responds much more slowly 144 00:04:45,566 --> 00:04:47,866 It may take three to five hundred milliseconds to intervene 145 00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:50,633 But it does have something that the limbic system doesn't. 146 00:04:51,233 --> 00:04:53,700 It can see what the limbic system is doing. 147 00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:55,166 Then decide whether to take over or not 148 00:04:56,633 --> 00:04:58,066 The relationship between these two systems 149 00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,733 Identical to Tesla. 150 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,900 The limbic system is that self-driving artificial intelligence 151 00:05:03,933 --> 00:05:06,533 Specialize in handling each specific road condition 152 00:05:06,533 --> 00:05:09,600 Prefrontal cortex is the person who's sitting in the driver's seat. 153 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,000 He is not responsible for driving 154 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,800 He is responsible for knowing how the car is driving 155 00:05:13,166 --> 00:05:16,166 Brain scans of long-term meditators tell us one thing 156 00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:17,166 An amazing thing. 157 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,366 Their amygdala's not gone. 158 00:05:20,366 --> 00:05:22,300 It's even shrunk a little bit. 159 00:05:23,066 --> 00:05:23,766 But 160 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,233 Their prefrontal lobe's downward control connection to the amygdala 161 00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:27,933 Significantly enhanced 162 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,166 Translated into human language is 163 00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:31,933 Their emotions are still there 164 00:05:31,933 --> 00:05:33,466 The automatic response is still there 165 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,266 But the seeing eye above the emotion 166 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:38,466 Become very awake and very powerful 167 00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:41,266 They're not people without anger. 168 00:05:41,266 --> 00:05:43,300 They are when anger arises 169 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:45,666 The awareness that sees anger rise 170 00:05:45,666 --> 00:05:47,466 Someone who will follow within a second 171 00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:48,966 This second 172 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,700 It's that one second in Tesla's metaphor. 173 00:05:51,933 --> 00:05:54,166 The difference between awakening and not awakening 174 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:55,033 Just this second 175 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,200 Buddhism has actually made this clear for a long time 176 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,000 It's just that a lot of people read it in the wrong direction. 177 00:06:00,733 --> 00:06:02,266 You may have heard the phrase 178 00:06:02,266 --> 00:06:03,400 It's called annihilation. 179 00:06:04,033 --> 00:06:07,333 This was the ultimate state pursued by some early practitioners 180 00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,100 Let go of all feelings and thoughts 181 00:06:09,933 --> 00:06:11,700 But later Mahayana Buddhism 182 00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:13,100 Especially Zen 183 00:06:13,133 --> 00:06:14,533 Just overturned the road 184 00:06:15,366 --> 00:06:16,533 zen theory 185 00:06:16,566 --> 00:06:17,400 Trouble is Bodhi 186 00:06:17,966 --> 00:06:19,033 What do you mean? 187 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:20,633 Worry is not the enemy 188 00:06:20,633 --> 00:06:22,133 Worry is the fuel of awareness 189 00:06:22,933 --> 00:06:24,033 No emotion. 190 00:06:24,066 --> 00:06:25,366 What do you practice with? 191 00:06:25,533 --> 00:06:27,166 Stones are emotionless. 192 00:06:27,166 --> 00:06:28,666 Stones never wake up 193 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,900 The Sixth Patriarch Hui Neng once said a particularly famous saying - hate love and don't care 194 00:06:33,933 --> 00:06:34,833 Lie on extended feet 195 00:06:35,833 --> 00:06:38,133 If you take this sentence literally 196 00:06:38,133 --> 00:06:40,333 You would think he meant to erase love and hate 197 00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:42,466 But you carefully taste 198 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:44,433 He said he didn't care. 199 00:06:44,466 --> 00:06:45,033 Not without 200 00:06:46,033 --> 00:06:47,033 Love is still there 201 00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:48,266 Hate still exists 202 00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:50,766 The desire to like something is still there 203 00:06:50,766 --> 00:06:52,966 I still have that aversion to hating someone. 204 00:06:53,633 --> 00:06:54,366 only 205 00:06:54,366 --> 00:06:55,966 He doesn't care about them anymore. 206 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,966 No longer being dragged by them 207 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,500 Stop identifying yourself with them 208 00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:01,666 This is the Buddhist path 209 00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:03,566 One side is depressing 210 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,666 Press down the emotion 211 00:07:05,666 --> 00:07:07,166 The result is internal injury 212 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,600 And on the other side is identity. 213 00:07:08,633 --> 00:07:10,066 Totally carried away by emotions 214 00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:11,166 The result is trauma 215 00:07:12,033 --> 00:07:13,133 What is the Middle Way? 216 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,533 The middle way is when you're sitting in the driver's seat. 217 00:07:15,533 --> 00:07:16,700 Keep your eyes open. 218 00:07:16,733 --> 00:07:16,933 Look at 219 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,266 You neither smashed the car 220 00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:21,033 Don't strap yourself to the steering wheel 221 00:07:21,666 --> 00:07:22,800 You let it go? 222 00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:23,600 You watch it open 223 00:07:24,533 --> 00:07:27,233 There is a story in the Zen koan that illustrates this in particular 224 00:07:28,266 --> 00:07:30,500 There is an old Zen master meditating on the mountain 225 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:34,800 Once I suddenly heard a mother crying in the village at the foot of the mountain 226 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:35,733 Her baby died. 227 00:07:36,633 --> 00:07:38,066 The old Zen master listens and listens 228 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:38,766 I cried myself 229 00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:41,333 His disciples later asked him 230 00:07:41,366 --> 00:07:43,033 Master, you have been cultivating for decades 231 00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:44,433 Why are you still crying? 232 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,066 The old Zen master said something - don't cry 233 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:47,666 It's vegetation. 234 00:07:48,433 --> 00:07:49,266 You taste this sentence 235 00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:50,900 Don't cry 236 00:07:50,933 --> 00:07:51,633 It's vegetation. 237 00:07:52,433 --> 00:07:53,466 True Enlightened One 238 00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,333 Instead of turning into stones and plants 239 00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:57,266 True Enlightened One 240 00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:59,233 It's a heart that has everything 241 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,733 But no longer held by anyone 242 00:08:02,533 --> 00:08:06,666 Now here's one thing that's counterintuitive and that's going to surprise a lot of people. 243 00:08:07,666 --> 00:08:08,700 Awakened Man 244 00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:10,266 Emotions not only did not disappear 245 00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:14,466 On the contrary, it has become richer, more vivid and more delicate than ordinary people 246 00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:16,733 That sounds crazy. 247 00:08:16,733 --> 00:08:17,866 But it has its reasons 248 00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:20,900 Ordinary people's emotions are actually a mess 249 00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:22,900 When you are angry 250 00:08:22,933 --> 00:08:26,633 Anger mixed with fear, mixed with self-esteem hurt 251 00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:29,533 Mixed with resentment about something in the past 252 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,366 Mixed with anxiety about the future 253 00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:35,866 And there's a shame in your subconscious that you don't want to admit. 254 00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:38,966 This big lump of stuff sticks together 255 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,366 You can't tell which is which 256 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,533 You can only use one crude word to describe it - I'm bored today 257 00:08:44,466 --> 00:08:46,066 But a conscious person 258 00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:47,933 When emotions arise 259 00:08:47,933 --> 00:08:50,100 He is like an experienced wine taster 260 00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:51,400 You can layer by layer. 261 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:52,833 He knows. 262 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,200 The top floor 263 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,733 It was the other party's words that touched a certain point of his self-esteem 264 00:08:57,733 --> 00:08:58,933 One floor down. 265 00:08:58,933 --> 00:09:02,266 He was hurt by a similar situation ten years ago 266 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:05,700 Today, this situation flipped the switch on that seed. 267 00:09:05,733 --> 00:09:06,900 One floor down. 268 00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:09,833 And he discovered that it was 80 percent fear. 269 00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:11,766 Only 20% is true anger 270 00:09:12,866 --> 00:09:14,166 You can feel the difference. 271 00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:16,500 A mush of emotion 272 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:19,233 And the emotions of transparent dew droplets one by one 273 00:09:19,266 --> 00:09:21,100 It's a completely different life experience 274 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:25,500 Ordinary people live in a gray emotional haze 275 00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:28,233 The Enlightened One lives under a clear emotional starry sky 276 00:09:28,966 --> 00:09:30,400 You said he felt less 277 00:09:30,866 --> 00:09:32,833 He feels a thousand times more finely than you 278 00:09:33,366 --> 00:09:35,900 It's just that he doesn't put any dew anymore 279 00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:37,100 Take it as your own 280 00:09:37,966 --> 00:09:40,900 This is why truly advanced practitioners 281 00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:45,000 They were often extraordinarily gentle, extraordinarily humorous, extraordinarily empathetic. 282 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,766 Because he knows what's underneath your anger 283 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,300 He knows what lies beneath your pride 284 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:54,600 He also knew what lay beneath his own anger and pride 285 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,133 A person who can see himself clearly 286 00:09:57,133 --> 00:09:58,866 Only then can we truly see others clearly 287 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,633 So back to the audience question. 288 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,333 She actually has a more specific extension - the awakened person 289 00:10:05,366 --> 00:10:07,733 What is it like in a relationship? 290 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:12,533 Won't he be torn, won't quarrel, won't be sad, won't be angry? 291 00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:14,633 Is he like a robot? 292 00:10:14,666 --> 00:10:16,200 Mechanically polite 293 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,766 Leave nothing in your heart 294 00:10:17,866 --> 00:10:19,733 I'd like to make this more specific. 295 00:10:20,666 --> 00:10:22,666 In any relationship 296 00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,666 When that emotional moment occurs 297 00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:27,166 A person with awareness 298 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,133 It goes through layers. 299 00:10:28,733 --> 00:10:29,633 first floor 300 00:10:29,633 --> 00:10:30,233 He will see 301 00:10:30,866 --> 00:10:32,300 What do you see? 302 00:10:32,433 --> 00:10:34,200 See your emotions rise 303 00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:37,633 Seeing what kind of hook the other party's words hooked him like 304 00:10:37,633 --> 00:10:38,333 Which seed? 305 00:10:39,133 --> 00:10:40,566 This seeing itself 306 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,233 It has made him no longer fully equivalent to that emotion 307 00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:44,733 second floor 308 00:10:44,733 --> 00:10:45,766 He will exercise some restraint 309 00:10:46,533 --> 00:10:47,400 Attention please. 310 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,166 So restraint is not repression. 311 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,900 It's not about gritting your teeth and enduring it. 312 00:10:51,566 --> 00:10:52,733 After he saw it 313 00:10:52,766 --> 00:10:53,566 He has a choice 314 00:10:54,466 --> 00:10:56,533 He has a split second to choose from. 315 00:10:57,166 --> 00:10:59,400 Do I want to follow this emotion? 316 00:10:59,400 --> 00:10:59,933 How far to go 317 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,100 He won't be trampled to the bottom by an automatic program 318 00:11:03,866 --> 00:11:05,100 Third floor 319 00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:06,566 He will find a way 320 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:07,900 Let the other party see it too 321 00:11:09,066 --> 00:11:11,466 Only one person is awake in a relationship 322 00:11:11,466 --> 00:11:13,766 The structure of this relationship remains unstable 323 00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:17,200 So the Awareness One does not take Awareness for Himself. 324 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,233 He would use various means - sometimes a single sentence 325 00:11:20,266 --> 00:11:21,900 Sometimes a silence 326 00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:25,633 Sometimes it's a question - to help the other person also raise a little awareness 327 00:11:26,466 --> 00:11:28,000 He's not teaching each other. 328 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:28,933 He is ordering each other. 329 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,766 Because he knows 330 00:11:30,833 --> 00:11:32,533 A couple who see each other 331 00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,200 To really get out of the relationship quagmire together 332 00:11:36,066 --> 00:11:37,200 Fourth floor 333 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,000 If the other party is temporarily unable to raise awareness 334 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,266 He will find a way to improve the relationship on his own 335 00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:44,866 He doesn't sit there waiting for the other person to wake up 336 00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:47,633 He will adjust his approach 337 00:11:47,633 --> 00:11:49,500 Adjust the pace of communication 338 00:11:49,566 --> 00:11:51,166 Adjust the distance to get along 339 00:11:51,166 --> 00:11:53,966 Even adjust your expectations for the relationship 340 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,266 He was always an active improver 341 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,933 Rather than being a passive victim 342 00:11:59,766 --> 00:12:00,566 Fifth floor 343 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:01,900 It is also the hardest layer 344 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,800 If the relationship doesn't improve - the other person doesn't want to wake up at all 345 00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:10,000 All his efforts are just deepening the entanglement between the two sides 346 00:12:10,766 --> 00:12:12,600 Those who are aware will choose to avoid 347 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,266 Not escape 348 00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:15,433 Not the Cold War 349 00:12:15,466 --> 00:12:16,600 It's a sober exit. 350 00:12:17,466 --> 00:12:18,200 He knows. 351 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,300 Stay here. 352 00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:22,766 It will only make the automated procedures on both sides worse together 353 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,066 Let the karmic seeds of both parties increase together 354 00:12:26,633 --> 00:12:28,166 He would rather leave with regret 355 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,000 I don't want to let my own awareness 356 00:12:30,033 --> 00:12:33,966 Being infected by a doomed relationship into a new seed of ignorance 357 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:35,433 You see 358 00:12:35,433 --> 00:12:36,466 Inside these five floors 359 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,833 There's no layer. There's no emotion. 360 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,166 Emotions are surging on every level 361 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,366 Just inside each floor 362 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,300 There's an awake person in the driver's seat. 363 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:45,833 So much for that. 364 00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:49,100 I want to ask you a question that may subvert your entire spiritual imagination 365 00:12:49,966 --> 00:12:51,333 After the Buddha became enlightened 366 00:12:51,366 --> 00:12:53,900 Does he still love his former wife? 367 00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:55,200 Yasodhara 368 00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:59,300 The standard chicken soup answer is - Buddha is beyond worldly love 369 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,533 His love for all beings 370 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:01,866 Replace the love for someone 371 00:13:02,566 --> 00:13:03,800 This answer is too cheap 372 00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:08,200 Cheap enough to paint the Buddha with cold gold paint 373 00:13:09,033 --> 00:13:10,466 The real historical picture is this 374 00:13:11,366 --> 00:13:13,300 The sixth year after the Buddha became enlightened 375 00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:16,000 He returned to Kapilavastu for the first time. 376 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,433 Back to the home he left behind 377 00:13:18,666 --> 00:13:21,200 His father, King Jingfan, went out of the city to greet him 378 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,933 His foster mother hugged him and cried 379 00:13:22,966 --> 00:13:25,733 His son Rahula was seven years old. 380 00:13:25,733 --> 00:13:28,000 The first time I met this father who had only heard his name 381 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,400 And his wife Yasodhara - she did not leave the city 382 00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,433 She stayed in her room. 383 00:13:34,233 --> 00:13:34,966 She says 384 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,666 If he still has me in his heart 385 00:13:36,666 --> 00:13:39,200 He'll come up to me on his own 386 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,933 If he doesn't have me in his heart 387 00:13:40,966 --> 00:13:42,566 What's the point of me going to see him? 388 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:44,600 The Buddha really went upstairs 389 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,133 He walked into the room he had once known 390 00:13:48,133 --> 00:13:49,366 Standing in front of Yasodhara 391 00:13:50,333 --> 00:13:52,066 The description in the classics is very restrained 392 00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:55,600 There was no earth-shattering conversation between them 393 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:56,666 No crying 394 00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:57,333 No complaint 395 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,866 Yasodhara knelt at his feet 396 00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,500 Tears fell on his robe 397 00:14:03,266 --> 00:14:05,200 Buddha just stood still. 398 00:14:05,233 --> 00:14:06,633 Allow that emotion to happen 399 00:14:07,533 --> 00:14:08,466 No depression. 400 00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:09,533 No escape 401 00:14:09,566 --> 00:14:10,566 I didn't pretend I didn't see it. 402 00:14:11,533 --> 00:14:12,500 You tell me. 403 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,100 Does that count? 404 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,233 A few years later 405 00:14:15,266 --> 00:14:17,100 Yasodhara himself became a monk 406 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,633 Later 407 00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:21,266 Rahula also became one of his youngest disciples 408 00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:24,866 A person can bring those closest to him 409 00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:29,033 All follow the same path of liberation - it's not without feelings 410 00:14:29,066 --> 00:14:31,766 It's taking emotion from a form of appropriation 411 00:14:31,766 --> 00:14:35,266 Transformed into a deeper, larger, less attached form 412 00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:37,666 He didn't turn to stone. 413 00:14:37,700 --> 00:14:40,900 He becomes a boat that everyone can cross together 414 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:42,300 So 415 00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,033 Let me come back to that viewer's question 416 00:14:45,033 --> 00:14:46,066 After Awakening 417 00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,933 Are the emotions and desires still there? 418 00:14:48,133 --> 00:14:48,766 Still there. 419 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:49,400 Not a few. 420 00:14:50,266 --> 00:14:51,700 Just from today. 421 00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:52,900 You know you're not the car 422 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,800 You are the one in the driver's seat who finally opened his eyes 423 00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:58,133 Anger will rise 424 00:14:58,133 --> 00:14:59,833 It's just that you watch it rise 425 00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,800 Then watch it recede like a tide 426 00:15:03,366 --> 00:15:04,966 Like will happen again 427 00:15:04,966 --> 00:15:08,200 It's just that you stop grasping at it like a drowning person grasping for a lifeline 428 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,733 Sadness will still flow 429 00:15:10,733 --> 00:15:12,933 It's just that you allow the tears to flow 430 00:15:12,966 --> 00:15:16,533 Without having to add another layer to the tears "Why am I so fragile" 431 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:17,300 The self-attack 432 00:15:18,566 --> 00:15:19,766 You may even find that 433 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,433 You love more than ever 434 00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:24,733 Because you finally have the ability 435 00:15:24,733 --> 00:15:27,233 Don't involve the other person in your own emotional whirlpool 436 00:15:28,033 --> 00:15:29,766 You see each other for the first time 437 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,300 Because you can see yourself for the first time 438 00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:34,533 Awakening doesn't make you less 439 00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:36,633 Awakening is getting to know you for the first time 440 00:15:36,633 --> 00:15:38,133 The thing I've been looking at 441 00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:40,600 That looking thing 442 00:15:40,633 --> 00:15:42,033 Outside of your car 443 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,433 Outside of your emotions, outside of your physical body 444 00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:46,700 The existence that has always been there 445 00:15:47,866 --> 00:15:50,533 It doesn't require you to do anything to appear. 446 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,366 It's already here. 447 00:15:52,233 --> 00:15:53,866 It's just waiting for you one day 448 00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:57,166 In the midst of a quarrel, at the height of a rage 449 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,566 At the moment when a tear is about to fall 450 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,033 Suddenly turned around 451 00:16:02,066 --> 00:16:02,566 See it. 452 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:03,966 That glance 453 00:16:03,966 --> 00:16:05,733 The second you take over the steering wheel 454 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,500 After that second 455 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,100 You will still go on living 456 00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:10,233 Continue to Love 457 00:16:10,233 --> 00:16:11,033 Continue to be angry 458 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:12,000 Continue to be happy 459 00:16:12,633 --> 00:16:15,000 But you know - in the driver's seat 460 00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:15,866 There is a person awake 461 00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:17,233 Speaking of which 462 00:16:17,266 --> 00:16:18,700 I'd love to hear your thoughts. 463 00:16:19,633 --> 00:16:21,900 Have you ever experienced an emotional moment? 464 00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:24,433 Suddenly jumped out of his body 465 00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:28,233 The moment you find yourself angry or sad 466 00:16:28,366 --> 00:16:30,366 How did you deal with that moment? 467 00:16:30,366 --> 00:16:32,466 Did it change the outcome? 468 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,700 If you like 469 00:16:33,733 --> 00:16:35,066 Let's chat in the comment area 470 00:16:35,066 --> 00:16:35,966 I'm really curious. 471 00:16:37,066 --> 00:16:37,966 And 472 00:16:37,966 --> 00:16:40,400 If you want to continue to explore this topic in the next issue 473 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,800 Which direction do you most want to hear me open? 474 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,900 It's how the neural mechanisms behind emotions can be rewritten through training 475 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:51,433 Or what is suffering in Buddhism? 476 00:16:51,633 --> 00:16:55,666 Or why the more aware people are, the more emotional they are. Behind this 477 00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,000 Deeper structure 478 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:57,866 Tell me. 479 00:16:57,966 --> 00:16:59,500 We'll walk in together next time. 480 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,333 I am Wang Lijie 481 00:17:01,466 --> 00:17:02,200 See you next time.