1
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觉醒之后

2
00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:03,200
七情六欲还在吗

3
00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:04,433
特斯拉给了我答案

4
00:00:05,233 --> 00:00:06,700
如果你真的觉醒了

5
00:00:06,733 --> 00:00:08,733
是不是就没有七情六欲了

6
00:00:08,866 --> 00:00:11,433
是不是就变成一个冷冰冰的木头人

7
00:00:11,433 --> 00:00:13,200
爱人从你身边走过

8
00:00:13,233 --> 00:00:15,033
你心里毫无波澜

9
00:00:15,033 --> 00:00:16,433
父母老去生病

10
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,400
你连眼泪都流不出来

11
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,733
吃到最喜欢的那道菜

12
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你也只是淡淡一笑

13
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像在嚼一团无味的纸

14
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这是我后台一个观众最近问我的问题

15
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她说她对修行很好奇

16
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可是一想到觉醒以后连喜怒哀乐都没有了

17
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她就害怕得不敢再往里走

18
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她说

19
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这样的觉醒

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我不要

21
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哈喽

22
00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:39,000
大家好

23
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我是王利杰

24
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我今天非常想认真地回答这个问题

25
00:00:43,133 --> 00:00:45,233
因为它不是她一个人的疑问

26
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它可能是百分之九十九对修行有好奇心的人

27
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心里那道最大的门槛

28
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甚至我可以这么说

29
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这个误会

30
00:00:53,866 --> 00:00:57,166
直接把绝大多数人挡在了真正的觉醒门外

31
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他们以为觉醒是一把剪刀

32
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把人心里所有鲜活的东西咔嚓剪掉

33
00:01:03,733 --> 00:01:06,533
他们以为觉者是一尊石像

34
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风吹雨打

35
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只是空洞地坐在那里

36
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今天我想告诉你

37
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完全不是这么回事

38
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而且我要用一个你每天都可能看到的东西

39
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给你一个极其精准的答案

40
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这个东西

41
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叫特斯拉的全自动驾驶

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先说结论

43
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觉知

44
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不代表没有情绪

45
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七情六欲

46
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一个也不会少

47
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喜怒哀乐

48
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贪嗔痴慢疑

49
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统统都还在

50
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觉醒的人不是少了什么

51
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而是多了一样东西

52
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多了的那样东西

53
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叫做觉知本身

54
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你可以想象一下

55
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特斯拉最新的全自动驾驶模式

56
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你坐在驾驶位上

57
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车子自己打方向、自己变道

58
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自己超车、自己避让行人

59
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在这个模式下

60
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你其实可以做三件事

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第一

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你可以睡过去

63
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眼睛一闭

64
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完全交给车

65
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车该怎么开就怎么开

66
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遇到小坑小洼

67
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它自己处理

68
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遇到急刹减速

69
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它自己判断

70
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你完全不参与

71
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第二

72
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你可以看着

73
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眼睛睁得大大的

74
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每一次变道、每一次加速、每一次刹车

75
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你都看在眼里

76
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你看到了

77
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但你并没有把手放回方向盘

78
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你只是一个清醒的乘客

79
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第三

80
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你可以接管

81
00:02:28,633 --> 00:02:32,466
当车即将冲向一个你判断会非常危险的情境

82
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你的手一把抓回方向盘

83
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覆盖掉自动驾驶

84
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完成你想要的那个动作

85
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危险过去之后

86
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,833
你再把车交还给那个自动模式

87
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继续看着

88
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普通人的人生

89
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就是第一种状态

90
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睡过去

91
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,933
你的情绪在底层自动运行

92
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愤怒来了你就暴怒

93
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贪欲来了你就扑上去

94
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嫉妒来了你就酸溜溜地发作

95
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你完全不知道谁在开车

96
00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:01,466
你就是那辆车本身

97
00:03:02,333 --> 00:03:04,100
或者更准确地说

98
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你以为你就是那辆车本身

99
00:03:07,066 --> 00:03:07,933
觉醒的人

100
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是第二种加第三种的混合状态

101
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车还在开

102
00:03:12,533 --> 00:03:13,300
情绪还在起

103
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:16,400
只是驾驶位上多了一个醒着的人

104
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,600
他看着情绪怎么发生、怎么膨胀

105
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,600
怎么试图劫持整辆车

106
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大部分时候他只是看着

107
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不出手 - 因为出手本身就是另一种纠缠

108
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只有当这股情绪眼看要把车撞进悬崖的时候

109
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他才会接管一下

110
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说一句不该说的话之前

111
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停半秒

112
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想摔门而出之前

113
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呼吸一下

114
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然后

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他把车交还给那个自动运行的系统

116
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继续看着

117
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你看出来没有

118
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觉知不是剪刀

119
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觉知是后排那个本来就该醒着、却一直睡着了的乘客

120
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终于睁开了眼睛

121
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这个比喻不是诗意

122
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它在神经科学上有一个非常硬的对应

123
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你大脑里有两套系统

124
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一套是边缘系统

125
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核心是杏仁核

126
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负责情绪的自动产生

127
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杏仁核有多快

128
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从一个刺激进入你的眼睛

129
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到它命令你身体分泌肾上腺素

130
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大约只需要一百毫秒

131
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也就是说

132
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在你意识到自己生气之前

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你的身体已经生气了

134
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那个愤怒不是你决定的

135
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它是一个进化了几亿年的硬件反应

136
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你关不掉

137
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你也没必要关

138
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它是你祖先能活下来的原因之一

139
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另一套系统是前额叶皮层

140
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特别是背外侧前额叶和前扣带回的前部

141
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它负责元认知

142
00:04:40,933 --> 00:04:43,266
也就是观察自己正在认知的那个能力

143
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它的反应慢得多

144
00:04:45,566 --> 00:04:47,866
可能要三百到五百毫秒才能介入

145
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但是它有一个边缘系统没有的本事

146
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它能够看见边缘系统正在做什么

147
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然后决定要不要接管

148
00:04:56,633 --> 00:04:58,066
这两套系统的关系

149
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和特斯拉的关系一模一样

150
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,900
边缘系统就是那个自动驾驶的人工智能

151
00:05:03,933 --> 00:05:06,533
专门处理每一个具体的路况

152
00:05:06,533 --> 00:05:09,600
前额叶皮层就是那个坐在驾驶位上的人

153
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他不负责开车

154
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他负责知道车在怎么开

155
00:05:13,166 --> 00:05:16,166
长期冥想者的大脑扫描图告诉了我们一件

156
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非常惊人的事情

157
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,366
他们的杏仁核并没有消失

158
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体积甚至只是稍微缩小了一点

159
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但是

160
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他们的前额叶对杏仁核的下行控制连接

161
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显著增强了

162
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翻译成人话就是

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他们的情绪还在

164
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自动反应还在

165
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,266
但是情绪上面那个看见的眼睛

166
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:38,466
变得非常清醒、非常有力量

167
00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:41,266
他们不是没有愤怒的人

168
00:05:41,266 --> 00:05:43,300
他们是愤怒升起来的时候

169
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:45,666
那个看到愤怒升起来的觉知

170
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会在一秒之内跟上来的人

171
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这一秒

172
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就是特斯拉比喻里的那一秒

173
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觉醒和不觉醒的全部差别

174
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就在这一秒

175
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,200
佛学里其实早就把这件事说透了

176
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只是很多人读错了方向

177
00:06:00,733 --> 00:06:02,266
你可能听过一句话

178
00:06:02,266 --> 00:06:03,400
叫灭受想定

179
00:06:04,033 --> 00:06:07,333
这是早期一些修行者追求的极致状态

180
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,100
把感受和念头全部灭掉

181
00:06:09,933 --> 00:06:11,700
但是后来的大乘佛学

182
00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:13,100
特别是禅宗

183
00:06:13,133 --> 00:06:14,533
直接把这条路给推翻了

184
00:06:15,366 --> 00:06:16,533
禅宗说

185
00:06:16,566 --> 00:06:17,400
烦恼即菩提

186
00:06:17,966 --> 00:06:19,033
什么意思

187
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:20,633
烦恼不是敌人

188
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烦恼是觉知的燃料

189
00:06:22,933 --> 00:06:24,033
没有情绪

190
00:06:24,066 --> 00:06:25,366
你拿什么练

191
00:06:25,533 --> 00:06:27,166
石头是没有情绪

192
00:06:27,166 --> 00:06:28,666
石头也从来不会觉醒

193
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,900
六祖慧能说过一句特别有名的话 - 憎爱不关心

194
00:06:33,933 --> 00:06:34,833
长伸两脚卧

195
00:06:35,833 --> 00:06:38,133
这句话如果你按字面理解

196
00:06:38,133 --> 00:06:40,333
你会以为他是说要把爱恨都抹掉

197
00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:42,466
可是你仔细品

198
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:44,433
他说的是不关心

199
00:06:44,466 --> 00:06:45,033
不是没有

200
00:06:46,033 --> 00:06:47,033
爱还在

201
00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:48,266
恨还在

202
00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:50,766
喜欢一样东西的那个欲望还在

203
00:06:50,766 --> 00:06:52,966
讨厌一个人的那个反感也还在

204
00:06:53,633 --> 00:06:54,366
只是

205
00:06:54,366 --> 00:06:55,966
他不再关心它们

206
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,966
不再被它们拽着跑

207
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,500
不再把自己等同于它们

208
00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:01,666
这就是佛学说的中道

209
00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:03,566
一边是压抑

210
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,666
把情绪使劲按下去

211
00:07:05,666 --> 00:07:07,166
结果是内伤

212
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,600
另一边是认同

213
00:07:08,633 --> 00:07:10,066
被情绪完全带走

214
00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:11,166
结果是外伤

215
00:07:12,033 --> 00:07:13,133
中道是什么

216
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,533
中道就是你坐在驾驶位上

217
00:07:15,533 --> 00:07:16,700
睁着眼睛

218
00:07:16,733 --> 00:07:16,933
看着

219
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,266
你既不把车砸烂

220
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:21,033
也不把自己绑在方向盘上

221
00:07:21,666 --> 00:07:22,800
你让它开

222
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:23,600
你看着它开

223
00:07:24,533 --> 00:07:27,233
禅宗公案里有一个故事特别能说明这件事

224
00:07:28,266 --> 00:07:30,500
有个老禅师在山上打坐

225
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:34,800
有一次忽然听到山下村子里有一个母亲在大哭

226
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:35,733
她的孩子死了

227
00:07:36,633 --> 00:07:38,066
老禅师听着听着

228
00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:38,766
自己也哭了

229
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:41,333
他的弟子后来问他

230
00:07:41,366 --> 00:07:43,033
师父您修了几十年

231
00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:44,433
怎么还哭

232
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,066
老禅师说了一句话 - 不哭

233
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:47,666
是草木

234
00:07:48,433 --> 00:07:49,266
你品一下这句话

235
00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:50,900
不哭

236
00:07:50,933 --> 00:07:51,633
是草木

237
00:07:52,433 --> 00:07:53,466
真正的觉者

238
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,333
不是变成石头和草木

239
00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:57,266
真正的觉者

240
00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:59,233
是一个心里什么都还有

241
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,733
却不再被任何一个什么给钳住的人

242
00:08:02,533 --> 00:08:06,666
这里要说一件反直觉到会让很多人大吃一惊的事情

243
00:08:07,666 --> 00:08:08,700
觉醒的人

244
00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:10,266
情绪不仅没有消失

245
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:14,466
反而变得比普通人更丰富、更鲜活、更细腻

246
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:16,733
这听起来很离谱

247
00:08:16,733 --> 00:08:17,866
可是它有它的道理

248
00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:20,900
普通人的情绪其实是一团浆糊

249
00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:22,900
你愤怒的时候

250
00:08:22,933 --> 00:08:26,633
愤怒里同时掺着恐惧、掺着自尊受伤

251
00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:29,533
掺着对过去某件往事的怨气

252
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,366
掺着对未来的焦虑

253
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:35,866
还掺着你潜意识里一个特别不愿意承认的羞愧

254
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:38,966
这一大坨东西黏在一起

255
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,366
你分不清哪是哪

256
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,533
你只能用一个粗糙的词去形容它 - 我今天很烦

257
00:08:44,466 --> 00:08:46,066
可是一个有觉知的人

258
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:47,933
当情绪升起来的时候

259
00:08:47,933 --> 00:08:50,100
他像一个有经验的品酒师一样

260
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:51,400
能够一层一层地分辨

261
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:52,833
他知道

262
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,200
最上面那一层

263
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,733
是对方那句话触到了他自尊的某一个点

264
00:08:57,733 --> 00:08:58,933
再往下一层

265
00:08:58,933 --> 00:09:02,266
是他十年前被一个相似的情境伤害过

266
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:05,700
今天这个情境按下了那颗种子的开关

267
00:09:05,733 --> 00:09:06,900
再往下一层

268
00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:09,833
他发现其实里面有八成是恐惧

269
00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:11,766
只有两成才是真正的愤怒

270
00:09:12,866 --> 00:09:14,166
你去感受一下这个区别

271
00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:16,500
一团浆糊的情绪

272
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:19,233
和一颗一颗透明的露珠的情绪

273
00:09:19,266 --> 00:09:21,100
是完全不同的生命体验

274
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:25,500
普通人活在灰蒙蒙的情绪雾霾里

275
00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:28,233
觉者活在清澈的情绪星空下

276
00:09:28,966 --> 00:09:30,400
你说他感受得少了

277
00:09:30,866 --> 00:09:32,833
他感受得比你精细一万倍

278
00:09:33,366 --> 00:09:35,900
只是他不再把任何一颗露珠

279
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:37,100
当成自己的全部

280
00:09:37,966 --> 00:09:40,900
这就是为什么真正高阶的修行者

281
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:45,000
反而常常特别温柔、特别幽默、特别能共情

282
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,766
因为他知道你的愤怒底下藏着什么

283
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,300
他知道你的骄傲底下藏着什么

284
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:54,600
他也知道他自己的愤怒和骄傲底下藏着什么

285
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,133
一个能看清自己的人

286
00:09:57,133 --> 00:09:58,866
才有资格真正看清别人

287
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,633
回到那个观众的问题

288
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,333
她其实还有一个更具体的延伸 - 那觉醒的人

289
00:10:05,366 --> 00:10:07,733
在关系里到底是什么样子

290
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:12,533
他不会纠结、不会争吵、不会伤心、不会生气吗

291
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:14,633
他是不是就像一个机器人

292
00:10:14,666 --> 00:10:16,200
机械地客客气气

293
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,766
心里什么都不留

294
00:10:17,866 --> 00:10:19,733
我想把这件事说得再具体一点

295
00:10:20,666 --> 00:10:22,666
在任何一段关系的来往里

296
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,666
当那个情绪激动的瞬间发生的时候

297
00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:27,166
一个有觉知的人

298
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,133
会经历好几层

299
00:10:28,733 --> 00:10:29,633
第一层

300
00:10:29,633 --> 00:10:30,233
他会看到

301
00:10:30,866 --> 00:10:32,300
看到什么

302
00:10:32,433 --> 00:10:34,200
看到自己情绪的升起

303
00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:37,633
看到对方那句话像一个什么样的钩子勾住了自己

304
00:10:37,633 --> 00:10:38,333
哪一颗种子

305
00:10:39,133 --> 00:10:40,566
这个看到本身

306
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,233
就已经让他不再完全等同于那股情绪了

307
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:44,733
第二层

308
00:10:44,733 --> 00:10:45,766
他会有一定的克制

309
00:10:46,533 --> 00:10:47,400
请注意

310
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,166
这个克制不是压抑

311
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,900
不是咬着牙忍着不发作

312
00:10:51,566 --> 00:10:52,733
是他看到之后

313
00:10:52,766 --> 00:10:53,566
他有选择了

314
00:10:54,466 --> 00:10:56,533
他有一瞬间的间隙可以选

315
00:10:57,166 --> 00:10:59,400
这股情绪我要不要跟着走

316
00:10:59,400 --> 00:10:59,933
要走多远

317
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,100
他不会被自动程序一脚踩到底

318
00:11:03,866 --> 00:11:05,100
第三层

319
00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:06,566
他会寻找办法

320
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:07,900
让对方也能看到

321
00:11:09,066 --> 00:11:11,466
一段关系里只有一个人醒着

322
00:11:11,466 --> 00:11:13,766
这段关系的结构仍然是不稳定的

323
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:17,200
所以觉者不会把觉知据为己有

324
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,233
他会用各种方式 - 有时候是一句话

325
00:11:20,266 --> 00:11:21,900
有时候是一个沉默

326
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:25,633
有时候是一个提问 - 去帮对方也升起一丝觉知

327
00:11:26,466 --> 00:11:28,000
他不是在教对方

328
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:28,933
他是在点对方

329
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,766
因为他知道

330
00:11:30,833 --> 00:11:32,533
一对互相看见的人

331
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,200
才能真正从关系的泥潭里一起走出来

332
00:11:36,066 --> 00:11:37,200
第四层

333
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,000
如果对方暂时没办法升起觉知

334
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,266
他会自己想办法改善这段关系

335
00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:44,866
他不会坐在那里等对方醒过来

336
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:47,633
他会调整自己的方式

337
00:11:47,633 --> 00:11:49,500
调整沟通的节奏

338
00:11:49,566 --> 00:11:51,166
调整相处的距离

339
00:11:51,166 --> 00:11:53,966
甚至调整自己对这段关系的期待

340
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,266
他始终是一个主动的改善者

341
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,933
而不是一个被动的受害者

342
00:11:59,766 --> 00:12:00,566
第五层

343
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:01,900
也是最难的那一层

344
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,800
如果这段关系实在无法改善 - 对方根本不愿意醒

345
00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:10,000
他所有的努力都只是在加深双方的纠缠

346
00:12:10,766 --> 00:12:12,600
那觉知的人会选择回避

347
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,266
不是逃避

348
00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:15,433
不是冷战

349
00:12:15,466 --> 00:12:16,600
而是清醒地退出

350
00:12:17,466 --> 00:12:18,200
他知道

351
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,300
继续留在这里

352
00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:22,766
只会让双方那套自动化的程序一起恶化

353
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,066
让双方的业力种子一起加重

354
00:12:26,633 --> 00:12:28,166
他宁可带着遗憾走

355
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,000
也不愿意让自己的觉知

356
00:12:30,033 --> 00:12:33,966
被一段注定崩坏的关系反向熏染成新的无明种子

357
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:35,433
你看

358
00:12:35,433 --> 00:12:36,466
这五层里面

359
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,833
没有一层是没有情绪

360
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,166
每一层都有情绪在涌动

361
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,366
只是每一层里面

362
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,300
驾驶位上都有一个醒着的人

363
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:45,833
讲到这里

364
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:49,100
我想问你一个可能会颠覆你整个修行想象的问题

365
00:12:49,966 --> 00:12:51,333
佛陀成道之后

366
00:12:51,366 --> 00:12:53,900
他到底还爱不爱他曾经的妻子

367
00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:55,200
耶输陀罗

368
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:59,300
标准的鸡汤答案是 - 佛陀超越了世俗的爱

369
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,533
他对众生的爱

370
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:01,866
取代了对一个人的爱

371
00:13:02,566 --> 00:13:03,800
这个答案太廉价了

372
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:08,200
廉价到像是在给佛陀涂上一层冷冰冰的金漆

373
00:13:09,033 --> 00:13:10,466
真实的历史画面是这样的

374
00:13:11,366 --> 00:13:13,300
佛陀成道之后的第六年

375
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:16,000
他第一次回到迦毗罗卫城

376
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,433
回到那个他离开的家

377
00:13:18,666 --> 00:13:21,200
他的父亲净饭王出城迎接

378
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,933
他的养母抱着他哭

379
00:13:22,966 --> 00:13:25,733
他的儿子罗睺罗当时七岁

380
00:13:25,733 --> 00:13:28,000
第一次见到这个只听过名字的父亲

381
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,400
而他的妻子耶输陀罗 - 她没有出城

382
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,433
她留在自己的房间里

383
00:13:34,233 --> 00:13:34,966
她说

384
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,666
如果他心里还有我

385
00:13:36,666 --> 00:13:39,200
他会自己走上来找我

386
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,933
如果他心里没有我了

387
00:13:40,966 --> 00:13:42,566
我去见他又有什么意义

388
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:44,600
佛陀真的上楼了

389
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,133
他走进那个他曾经熟悉的房间

390
00:13:48,133 --> 00:13:49,366
站在耶输陀罗面前

391
00:13:50,333 --> 00:13:52,066
经典里的描述非常克制

392
00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:55,600
他们之间没有惊天动地的对话

393
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:56,666
没有哭喊

394
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:57,333
没有控诉

395
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,866
耶输陀罗跪在他脚前

396
00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,500
把眼泪落在他的袈裟上

397
00:14:03,266 --> 00:14:05,200
佛陀只是静静地站着

398
00:14:05,233 --> 00:14:06,633
允许那份情感发生

399
00:14:07,533 --> 00:14:08,466
没有压抑

400
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:09,533
没有逃避

401
00:14:09,566 --> 00:14:10,566
没有装作没看见

402
00:14:11,533 --> 00:14:12,500
你告诉我

403
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,100
这算不算情

404
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,233
几年之后

405
00:14:15,266 --> 00:14:17,100
耶输陀罗自己也出家了

406
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,633
再后来

407
00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:21,266
罗睺罗也成了他最年幼的弟子之一

408
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:24,866
一个人能够把自己最亲近的人

409
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:29,033
全部带上同一条解脱的道路 - 这不是没感情

410
00:14:29,066 --> 00:14:31,766
这是把感情从一种占有的形式

411
00:14:31,766 --> 00:14:35,266
转化成了一种更深、更大、更不执着的形式

412
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:37,666
他没有变成石头

413
00:14:37,700 --> 00:14:40,900
他变成了一条可以让所有人一起渡过去的船

414
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:42,300
所以

415
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,033
让我再回到那位观众的问题

416
00:14:45,033 --> 00:14:46,066
觉醒之后

417
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,933
七情六欲还在吗

418
00:14:48,133 --> 00:14:48,766
还在

419
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:49,400
一个都不少

420
00:14:50,266 --> 00:14:51,700
只是从今天开始

421
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:52,900
你知道你不是那辆车

422
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,800
你是驾驶位上那个终于睁眼的人

423
00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:58,133
愤怒还会升起

424
00:14:58,133 --> 00:14:59,833
只是你看着它升起

425
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,800
然后看着它像潮水一样退回去

426
00:15:03,366 --> 00:15:04,966
喜欢还会发生

427
00:15:04,966 --> 00:15:08,200
只是你不再像溺水的人抓救命稻草一样去抓住它

428
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,733
悲伤还会涌出

429
00:15:10,733 --> 00:15:12,933
只是你允许眼泪流下来

430
00:15:12,966 --> 00:15:16,533
而不需要在眼泪之外再加一层"我为什么这么脆弱"

431
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:17,300
的自我攻击

432
00:15:18,566 --> 00:15:19,766
你甚至会发现

433
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,433
你比以前更会爱人了

434
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:24,733
因为你终于有能力

435
00:15:24,733 --> 00:15:27,233
不把对方卷进你自己的情绪漩涡里

436
00:15:28,033 --> 00:15:29,766
你第一次看得到对方

437
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,300
因为你第一次看得到自己

438
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:34,533
觉醒不是让你变少

439
00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:36,633
觉醒是让你第一次认识

440
00:15:36,633 --> 00:15:38,133
那个一直在看的那个东西

441
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:40,600
那个看的东西

442
00:15:40,633 --> 00:15:42,033
就是你这辆车之外

443
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,433
你这堆情绪之外、你这具肉身之外

444
00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:46,700
一直在的那个存在

445
00:15:47,866 --> 00:15:50,533
它不需要你做任何事情才会出现

446
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,366
它已经在这里

447
00:15:52,233 --> 00:15:53,866
它只是在等你某一天

448
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:57,166
在一场争吵的正中央、在一次暴怒的巅峰

449
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,566
在一滴眼泪即将落下的那一瞬间

450
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,033
忽然回过头来

451
00:16:02,066 --> 00:16:02,566
看见它

452
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:03,966
那一眼

453
00:16:03,966 --> 00:16:05,733
就是你接管方向盘的那一秒

454
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,500
那一秒之后

455
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,100
你还是会继续生活

456
00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:10,233
继续恋爱

457
00:16:10,233 --> 00:16:11,033
继续愤怒

458
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:12,000
继续喜悦

459
00:16:12,633 --> 00:16:15,000
但是你知道了 - 驾驶位上

460
00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:15,866
有一个人醒着

461
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:17,233
说到这里

462
00:16:17,266 --> 00:16:18,700
我非常想听听你们的想法

463
00:16:19,633 --> 00:16:21,900
你有没有在一次情绪激动的瞬间

464
00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:24,433
忽然从自己身体里跳出来一下

465
00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:28,233
发现自己正在愤怒或者正在难过的那个瞬间

466
00:16:28,366 --> 00:16:30,366
那个瞬间你是怎么处理的

467
00:16:30,366 --> 00:16:32,466
它有没有改变后来的结果

468
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,700
你愿意的话

469
00:16:33,733 --> 00:16:35,066
来评论区聊一聊

470
00:16:35,066 --> 00:16:35,966
我真的很好奇

471
00:16:37,066 --> 00:16:37,966
还有

472
00:16:37,966 --> 00:16:40,400
下一期如果要继续深入这个话题

473
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,800
你最想听我拆哪一个方向

474
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,900
是情绪背后的神经机制如何通过训练被改写

475
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:51,433
还是佛学里的观受是苦到底在观什么

476
00:16:51,633 --> 00:16:55,666
或者是为什么越觉知的人反而情绪越丰富这件事背后

477
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:56,766
更深的结构

478
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:57,866
告诉我

479
00:16:57,966 --> 00:16:59,500
我们下一次一起走进去

480
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,333
我是王利杰

481
00:17:01,466 --> 00:17:02,200
我们下期见

