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What is 'love brain'?

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Neuroscience calls it an addiction

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You definitely know someone like this

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Usually smart, clear-headed, and sensible

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But once they fall in love

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They completely change

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Everyone sees they're being lied to

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Except them

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Even with evidence in front of them

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They still make excuses for the other

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They can lose a whole night's sleep

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Over one unreplied message

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Checking their phone repeatedly

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Staring at the chat window

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It's not that they don't know it's wrong

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They even say it themselves

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"I know I'm being stupid"

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"But I can't help it"

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We have a name for this state

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It's called 'love brain'

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Most people think

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It's a personality issue

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Being irrational, dependent, or clingy

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But 'love brain' isn't a character flaw

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It's a biological state in your brain

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When someone falls into it

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The brain areas for calm judgment

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Are literally dimmed

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While the circuits for obsession and insomnia

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Are the same ones lit up

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In the brain of a drug addict

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Hello

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Hi everyone

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I'm Wang Lijie

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Today we'll break this down

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What exactly is 'love brain'?

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Why do smart people turn foolish in love?

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Why are the unattainable most addictive?

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Why does a breakup feel like a physical illness?

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In the past

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We blamed these on fate

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On destiny, or being too devoted

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But in the last twenty years

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Neuroscience put brains into MRI scanners

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To see what happens

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When love strikes

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The answer might be uncomfortable

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But it's very honest

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Let's start with an experiment

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Over twenty years ago

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An American anthropologist

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named Helen Fisher

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collaborated with psychologists

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on a romantic yet hardcore study

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They recruited young people in love

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Those newly in love and obsessed

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smiling foolishly all day long

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They put them into fMRI scanners

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and showed them two photos

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One of their beloved

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and one of a neutral acquaintance

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The machine recorded

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the moment they saw their lover's face

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which brain regions lit up

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The results were clear

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When seeing a loved one

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the areas that lit up

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weren't the emotional regions

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linked to tenderness or touch

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but two deep, ancient areas

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The ventral tegmental area

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and the caudate nucleus

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No need to remember the names

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Just know these two areas

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are the core of the reward system

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responsible for dopamine

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What is dopamine?

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Think of it as the "wanting" signal

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Note

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it's not "pleasure"

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it's "wanting"

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It doesn't provide satisfaction

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It drives craving and pursuit

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making you feel "I must have it"

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Like a gambler pulling a lever

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or an addict seeing drugs

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the part that lights up

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is this exact system

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So Helen Fisher made a bold claim

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She said

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romantic love

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is not essentially an emotion

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It is a motivation system

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Unlike joy, sadness, or anger

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it's like hunger or thirst—a drive

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a primal urge to approach and possess

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When you are in love

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that restlessness and urgency

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isn't tenderness

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it's hunger

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At this point you might say

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Fine

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Love makes you happy and motivated

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I already knew that

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But what really gives me chills

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is the next part

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Let's follow this system

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three levels deeper

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Level one

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Why smart people turn stupid in love

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We just saw which areas light up

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But the same study found something more critical

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Some areas

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are actually turned off during love

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Suppressed

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Specifically part of the prefrontal cortex

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Especially those responsible for critical judgment

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and social assessment

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Chinese researchers later scanned Chinese brains

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The results were identical

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Passionate love causes judgment of the beloved

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to drop significantly

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Think about that for a moment

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It's not that they refuse to see flaws

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It's that the brain's flaw-detection department

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has its power temporarily dialed down

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That's why onlookers see more clearly

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It's not a metaphor

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It's a physiological fact

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The onlooker's prefrontal cortex is at full power

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They can see the problems clearly

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But the lover's prefrontal cortex is suppressed

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They truly cannot see it

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When you try to reason with a love-struck person

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why doesn't it work?

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Because the part of the brain that processes logic

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is currently in power-saving mode

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This level makes perfect evolutionary sense

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If you were too rational or calculating in mating

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seeing every single flaw clearly

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you might never bond or reproduce

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So evolution installed a mechanism at key moments

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to dim the critical part of our reason

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allowing you to dive in headfirst

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The love-struck brain

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is part of our factory settings

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Level two

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Why you can't help

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thinking about them over and over

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A classic symptom of love is a mind full of them

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Can't even drive them away

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Thinking while working

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Thinking while eating

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Thinking again right after seeing friends

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This uncontrollable, repetitive thinking

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Sound familiar?

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It's neurochemically similar to OCD

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An Italian psychiatric researcher

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Named Donatella Marazziti

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Conducted a famous study

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Measuring serotonin markers in lovers

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Found their serotonin activity

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Was significantly low

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How low?

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Indistinguishable from OCD patients

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Serotonin

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Simply put

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Is the brain's brake for stability

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The neurotransmitter that says enough

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When it drops

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The brake that stops you fails

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So the same thought, the same face

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Loops in your mind over and over

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Unable to stop

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That post-breakup urge to check their feed

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When your hands won't listen

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Isn't a lack of willpower

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It's the chemical system meant to stop you

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Being in a suppressed state

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From this perspective

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Being in love itself

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Is a socially acceptable form of OCD

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This leads us

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To the third layer

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If love lights up rewards like a drug

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And makes you unable to stop like OCD

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Could it be

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An addiction in itself?

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This is what Helen Fisher proposed

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She said

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Intense romantic love

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Is a natural addiction

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It fits every trait of addiction

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Euphoria - floating when you see them

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Tolerance - needing more and more

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One message isn't enough

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You need to meet

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Meeting isn't enough

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You need to be together 24/7

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Dependence - pain when apart

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Withdrawal - feeling wrong when apart

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And relapse - even after it's over

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A late night, an old song

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And you're pulled back in

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The classic script of addiction

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The strongest evidence

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Comes from heartbreak

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Researchers ran another experiment

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On people recently dumped but still in love

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They put them in scanners

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And showed them photos of their exes

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The results

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The active areas of their brains

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Overlapped with those in happy relationships

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But with extra activity

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Those extra areas

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Are linked to cocaine addiction and craving

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Did you catch that

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When you're heartbroken

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The parts of your brain activated

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Are the same as an addict's cravings

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It's the exact same circuit

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That's why heartbreak hurts so much

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Why you can't eat or sleep, feeling empty

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It's not just being dramatic

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It's a real neurological withdrawal

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Your brain

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Is going through full withdrawal symptoms

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Telling someone to just get over it

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Is like telling an addict to just endure it

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The logic is sound

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But the pain they feel

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Has a physical reality

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Understanding these three layers

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Makes many things clear

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Suddenly it all makes sense

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For example

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Why the one you can't have

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Is the one you want most

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Why someone hot and cold

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Is the most addictive

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While the one always there for you

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Doesn't spark much feeling

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Because the dopamine system

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Its strongest reaction

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Is never for a guaranteed reward

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But for an uncertain one

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That's how gambling hooks you

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If every slot pull won

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You'd get bored fast

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Because it only hits sometimes

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You keep pulling the lever

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Someone who runs hot and cold

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Turns your brain into a love slot machine

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Their occasional response

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Is that random jackpot

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Hooking your dopamine system

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The more unattainable they are

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The more obsessed you get - not because they're great

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But because of that uncertainty

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It triggers your brain's oldest trap

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Another example

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Why love truly numbs pain

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A study took people in new love

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Applied mild pain stimuli

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While they looked at photos of their partner

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The results showed

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Just looking at their face

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Significantly reduced the pain felt

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And the brain activated

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The reward-based analgesic circuit

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So "I'd walk through fire for you"

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To some extent

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Isn't just sweet talk - love actually acts

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Like a temporary anesthetic

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So here is the question

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If love is so much like an addiction

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Should we be wary of it

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And treat it as something to quit

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I don't think so

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I want to

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Look back 2,500 years

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Actually

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Humans noticed this side of love long ago

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The Buddha

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Used one specific term

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To describe this state accurately

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Thirsting Love

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Note

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The emphasis on "thirst"

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He didn't say love is bad

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He calmly pointed out

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When we develop an intense, desperate grasp

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That "must have it or suffer" craving

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Suffering

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Is born right there

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The pain of parting and unfulfilled desire

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Is exactly what he meant

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The more you grasp someone like an addict

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That rope you're holding

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the more it will tighten around you

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You see

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Vipassana from 2,500 years ago

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and MRI images from today

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00:11:06,824 --> 00:11:09,072
point to the same structural truth

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Through inner observation, Buddha

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00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:12,771
saw the thread of craving

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00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:16,024
Modern neuroscience, through measurement

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00:11:16,024 --> 00:11:18,063
saw the dopamine circuit

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00:11:18,064 --> 00:11:18,452
Of course

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this is the closest analogy I can find

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It has flaws—Buddha's craving

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00:11:24,345 --> 00:11:26,031
is much broader than romantic love

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00:11:26,184 --> 00:11:29,792
It refers to our fundamental grasping

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00:11:29,904 --> 00:11:31,303
While neuroscience measures

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00:11:31,304 --> 00:11:33,592
only the specific addiction of love

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00:11:33,824 --> 00:11:35,751
The two aren't exactly the same

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But that shared insight

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I believe is true: what hurts you

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00:11:40,904 --> 00:11:42,424
is often not love itself

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00:11:42,424 --> 00:11:45,271
but the grasping for possession

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00:11:46,082 --> 00:11:49,441
So, knowing love is an addiction

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00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:50,430
should we still love?

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My answer is

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00:11:52,123 --> 00:11:52,970
of course

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You wouldn't stop eating just because

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00:11:56,322 --> 00:11:57,529
you know food brings pleasure

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00:11:57,922 --> 00:11:59,889
The point is never to quit love

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00:11:59,963 --> 00:12:02,441
but when you fall in again

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00:12:02,442 --> 00:12:04,950
losing sleep and checking your phone

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00:12:05,243 --> 00:12:08,129
making excuses for someone unworthy

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00:12:08,243 --> 00:12:10,489
you can have a sober inner voice

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00:12:10,843 --> 00:12:12,402
This voice doesn't judge you

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00:12:12,402 --> 00:12:15,109
It just tells you: you're not crazy

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00:12:15,322 --> 00:12:16,810
and you're not weak

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00:12:16,922 --> 00:12:20,081
It's an ancient million-year-old program

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00:12:20,082 --> 00:12:21,570
running at full speed in your brain

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00:12:22,402 --> 00:12:23,681
By seeing it run

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00:12:23,682 --> 00:12:26,249
you are no longer fully controlled by it

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00:12:27,233 --> 00:12:28,711
'Love brain' is not a disease

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00:12:28,713 --> 00:12:30,960
It's part of being human

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00:12:31,393 --> 00:12:32,599
You might worry that

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00:12:32,633 --> 00:12:35,119
breaking love down to dopamine

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00:12:35,152 --> 00:12:37,879
makes it cold or a buzzkill

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00:12:38,312 --> 00:12:39,720
I think the opposite

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00:12:39,912 --> 00:12:41,392
Knowing the structure of a flower

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00:12:41,393 --> 00:12:43,672
doesn't make you love it less

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00:12:43,672 --> 00:12:45,580
You just know what you love more clearly

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00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:48,840
and are less fooled by illusions

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00:12:49,113 --> 00:12:50,460
When you understand its mechanism

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00:12:50,713 --> 00:12:51,792
Then you have the chance

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00:12:51,792 --> 00:12:53,300
to be someone who loves deeply

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00:12:53,633 --> 00:12:56,320
without losing yourself completely

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00:12:56,753 --> 00:12:57,899
Loving with awareness

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00:12:58,233 --> 00:12:59,792
versus being driven by instinct

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00:12:59,792 --> 00:13:02,040
are two different ways of living

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00:13:03,018 --> 00:13:05,945
So let me ask, have you ever

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00:13:06,057 --> 00:13:07,297
looked back and wondered

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00:13:07,297 --> 00:13:09,845
how you could be so obsessed

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00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:14,017
Reviewing that time with this logic

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00:13:14,018 --> 00:13:15,004
what do you see now

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00:13:15,498 --> 00:13:16,524
Please share your story

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00:13:16,817 --> 00:13:18,744
in the comments below

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00:13:19,057 --> 00:13:19,764
I am Wang Lijie

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00:13:20,057 --> 00:13:20,955
See you next time