Buddha left his wife and children overnight
The truth he saw was not what you think
Sakyamuni was 29 years old
Did something that is unjustifiable in all worldly morality
He left his wife, who had just given birth to a son.
Sneak up in the middle of the night
He glanced at the sleeping Yasodhara and the swaddling Rahula
Turn around and walk out of the palace
Never looked back
The story is told in the Buddhist tradition as the great renunciation.
But calm down and think about it
According to Confucian standards
This is blatantly irresponsible.
A Man
Wife just had a baby
Just go.
And here's what's interesting.
After he became a Buddha, he returned to Kapilavastu
The first thing is not to repair the relationship
Instead, he made his son a monk
Yasodhara later became a monk as well
The entire family.
Husband, wife, son
All entered the Sangha
Hello
Hello.
I am Wang Lijie
Many people tell the story of the Buddha
It stops here.
Said it was the happy ending of the whole family's enlightenment
But every time I read this
I had a question that wouldn't go away.
Why is that?
Why is the standard action of the enlightened person to leave the family?
Why did the Buddha teach the Dharma for 45 years?
There's very little positive, warm, positive discourse about relationships.
Why is it that in his admonition to all monks
More vigilant of the opposite sex than money or power
Reputation vigilance is much harsher.
If you just attribute this to the ascetic culture of ancient Indian society
Then you underestimate the Buddha
Buddha didn't leave home because of his era
He saw a truth that he didn't even dare to speak directly
This truth involves the underlying mechanisms of gender relations
When it comes to the family, what is the structure at the alaya level?
It involves why the deepest love in the world often turns into the deepest entanglement
Today's issue
We don't talk about love chicken soup
I don't talk about the folk interpretation of looking back 500 times in the past life and passing by in this life
We go straight to the heart of Buddhism.
Cognitive science with the seed theory of consciousness-only and predictive coding
The causal model of common karma
The relationship and family work
Take it apart from the bottom
Let me ask you a question
You don't have to answer
But be honest in your heart.
What do you think?
What is the root cause of your love for your significant other?
It's because the other person is good-looking.
get along well
Three views
soul fit
Or because you are destined
Most people are going to choose one of those.
Then I feel at ease
I understand love
But the Buddha's answer
Might make you fidget
There is a very cold observation in consciousness-only
The so-called love
Essentially the mutual activation of specific seeds in the alaya consciousness of two people
Pay attention to the words I use
Is activation
Not induction
Not soul resonance
I talked about Alaya knowledge in my previous video.
It's the seed storehouse at the bottom of your conscious system.
Store your life
According to Buddhism, it is the infinite world
The imprint left by all experiences
These seeds are activated under certain causal conditions
Emerge into your current feelings, emotions, judgments
It works for everything.
Including love.
You think you're in love with someone because she's just different
But consciousness-only learning tells you
Here's what really happened.
This specific person
The shape of her face, the tone of her voice
A certain smell on her body, the way she handled conflict
These external characteristics serve as a precondition
Accurately hit some cause in your alaya consciousness
It could be a moment when your mother put you to sleep when you were three
It may be a certain image from the summer when your heart first moved when you were sixteen
It could be deeper, earlier.
Seed patterns that you're not even aware of.
These seeds are activated by her
Instantly emerge from the experience of heartbeat
So you thought you were in love with her
If you change someone
Activates another set of seeds
Another feeling emerges
Maybe it's annoying.
Maybe insensitive
Maybe friendship
Same You
Meet different people
A completely different self will emerge
Sounds cold, doesn't it?
I see.
But we keep going down.
You will find that behind the cold is true sobriety
Why does consciousness-only learning look at gender relations in this way?
Because it solves a paradox that all people in love encounter
Why did I once love someone so much?
Today will become the one I dislike the most
Why the honeymoon period must pass
Why has it been difficult to pass through the sea?
No matter how nice the people you meet later feel something is wrong
These phenomena cannot be explained by personality differences or fading passions
But using predictive coding theory
Can be explained
I talked about predictive coding in detail in the meditation issue before
Your brain is not passive.
It generates predictions top down first
And we use sensory data to calibrate the errors.
The higher the precision weight of the prior belief
The harder it is for you to be corrected by reality
What happened in the early stages of a relationship?
Your brain assigns a very high prior label to this person.
She is my destiny
Once this label is attached
You will automatically block all information that contradicts this label.
She was late.
It's because she's dedicated
She speaks quickly
Because she was forthright
She doesn't like to talk
Because she has meaning
All negative signals are automatically suppressed by your brain
Because they conflict with a priori
The honeymoon period is when the mechanism works best
What you see is not the real her.
Your brain made her up based on a priori predestined
But this mechanism has a fatal flaw
Prediction errors don't go away forever
It will accumulate
The discrepancy between who she really is and who she is in your head
Increasing every day
One Day
The cumulative amount exceeds a certain threshold
Your brain suddenly collapses to update the weights.
A sentence popped into my heart
That's who she is
That moment.
The honeymoon period is over
You look at the same face
But I can't see anything that moved you in the first place
It's not that she has changed
It's the one in your brain that was made up by your brain and she dissipated
The rest.
It's real, it's mundane, it's flawed.
Another person who is not a perfect match for you
This is why the Buddha was so vigilant about gender relations
He's not arguing against human emotion.
He's telling you something
You think you love that person
In fact, what you love is the activated seed in your Alaya consciousness
Plus the stories your brain makes up
When the seed activation pattern changes
When the story collapses
The love you thought was gone in an instant
It's not a tragedy.
This is the mechanism.
Any relationship based on seed activation plus brain replenishment
Are destined to come to this day
So much for that.
I have to stop.
Break a misconception that has spread too widely
A lot of people talk about relationships
Like to say a word
Husband and wife are a fate cultivated in a previous life
And that's beautiful.
But it has a logical place to steal the concept
It has to be cut.
The version that many people understand is this
You saved his life in a previous life
In this life he came to repay his kindness
So you are married
Or you owe him a debt in a previous life
In this life he came to collect debts
So marriage tortures each other for a lifetime
Sounds like a complete cause-and-effect story
Okay?
What's the problem?
The problem is that it interprets fate as a fateful arrangement
It's like there's a god with the ledger
Arrange who you must marry for the rest of your life
This is not Buddhism
This is a folk interpretation
The Buddha's preaching
Is karma
Is conditional aggregation
In a past life, you had a deep karmic intersection with someone
It may have walked together, suffered together, and planted similar seeds together
These seeds leave patterns in the Alaya mind
In this life, when you meet at some point in time and space
Similar seeds are activated by each other
And that creates a strong sense of familiarity and attraction.
Notice the difference
It's not that someone arranged for you to be together
Rather, your seed patterns have a high probability of activating each other
The former is fatalism
The latter is probability theory
The former you can only accept your fate
In the latter, you have room to actively choose and practice
Why is this distinction so important?
Because if you believe in fatalism
You feel like all the pain in a marriage is paying off a debt
Just grit your teeth and bear it
But if you see it as probability theory
You will find one thing
Seeds can be replanted
Every reaction you made to significant others today, every avoidance, every word
Have smoked new seeds in Alaya consciousness
These new seeds either reinforce existing patterns of entanglement
Or create new possibilities
A family is not a debt repayment scene where you can leave when you pay off your debts
It is an ashram where you actively plant new seeds every day
Understand this layer
We can really get to the heart of the issue
Common Industry
Communism is a very misleading concept
Many people understand it as collective karma
A group of people bound together to share a destiny
That's not entirely wrong.
But it misses the most crucial kinetics
What is the true mechanism of communism?
It is the seed of Alaya consciousness
They will contaminate each other in long-term coexistence
Between husband and wife
Living in the same space for a long time
Eat the same meal
Affected by the same climate
Surrounded by the same family and friends
Dealing with the same financial pressures
It's not just physical sharing.
It is the cross-contamination of the seeds of Alaya consciousness
The way you speak will be learned by the other party
The other person's fear becomes your fear
His obsession will activate your obsession
Your anxiety will infect him
For example
Two formerly independent lakes
Dig a canal to connect them
The water quality on both sides is different at first
But over time
inevitable convergence
Dirty will pollute
The net will also dilute the dirty
What's the result?
The water quality of the two lakes will converge to a common state
That's communism.
The family is the canal
The essence of marriage is not a physical union
It was the seeds of Alaya consciousness that began to infect each other on a large scale
Your subconscious is starting to resemble
This is why couples grow more alike over time
It's not that the face shape has changed
It is after the convergence of seed patterns of Alaya consciousness
The explicit micro-expressions, tone, and posture are all assimilated
The deepest level of community is children
From the moment of conception
It was nurtured in the seed fields of parents.
Every mood swing, every anxiety or joy of a mother's pregnancy
Every piece of music I've heard and every argument I've had
Are shaping the seeds of this new life
After birth
The first three years are the critical period for the seeds of Alaya consciousness to be deeply instilled by the parental model
How parents handle conflict, how parents perceive money
Parents' reactions to strangers
These are not taught to children through language
It is infected into the child's alaya consciousness through the daily state
So the deepest truth about family life
It's not just you and your significant other
You're in your significant other seed field
The seeds for nurturing the next generation
Your every unresolved emotional pattern today
All in a way you can't see
Pass it on to your children
It sounds heavy
But this is what's really important.
Precisely because the family is the field where the seeds of Alaya consciousness are most intertwined
It is also the most powerful dojo for spiritual practice
If your goal is just inner peace
The easiest way is to become a monk
Find a clean environment
Stay away from all distractions
Concentrate on meditation
This is the path the Buddha took
But if your goal is to remain awake despite the deepest entanglements
That family is the most difficult training ground
Why is that?
Because all relationships in the family are precisely the seeds of your deepest Alaya knowledge
Your significant other habit
It can instantly activate the picture of your parents making you the most uncomfortable in your childhood
Your child's reaction
Can instantly awaken all the emotions you have been suppressed by your original family
These activations happen every day.
You can't hide
There are no tests in the pure mountains and forests
All at home
But the other way around.
Opportunities for dredging that are not available in the clean mountains and forests
They have it all.
Every time you have a significant other
If you could stop for a second
See what this reaction is, the seed is activated.
That second
You're loosening that seed.
Every time you lose control of your child
If you could look back in hindsight
See this loss of control coming from old patterns that your own Alaya mind has not dealt with
The one who sees itself
Just cutting the chain that it continues to pass
The beauty of coworking is not that it ties you to death
It gives you a mirror.
Let you see the seeds in your alaya consciousness that you didn't even know existed
see
It's all about spiritual practice.
Now you understand.
Why did the Buddha leave his wife and children to become a monk?
Not because of bad family
It's because 2,500 years ago
At that particular stage of his enlightenment
He needs to completely get out of the attractive force field of the common industry
To understand the underlying mechanism of consciousness
He has to first go to an environment where there is no seed activation at all
To stably observe the mechanism itself
But please note one detail
After he became a Buddha
It doesn't deny the family.
He returned to his native country
Let his son and wife also follow the path of spiritual practice
He didn't say the family was wrong
Here's what he said.
There is a deeper spiritual possibility within the family
He took the path of becoming a monk first, attaining enlightenment, and then turning back
But the method he left for the lay practitioner is equally complete
Then Buddhism developed a very important tradition
Lay Buddhism
Homeschooling is no longer considered inferior
Vimalakirti is a great man who teaches the Dharma with illness
The Pang family of four are all enlightened
They prove it with their lives
Family is not an obstacle to spiritual practice
Is another form of spiritual practice
So much for that.
Let me take this issue
The Buddha's attitude towards gender relations
Never a simple objection or approval
What he saw was a mechanism.
Human love is essentially the mutual activation of the seeds of Alaya consciousness
It's a story that the brain makes up based on a priori
There's nothing wrong with the mechanism.
What's wrong is you don't know it exists.
Take hallucinations seriously
Activation as eternity
Make up your brain as destiny
Family business is not a curse of fate
It is a training ground where the seeds of Alaya consciousness are contaminated with each other on a large scale
Two formerly separate seed lakes were connected to a canal through marriage
They're bound to converge.
This convergence is the deepest test of spiritual practice
It is also the deepest opportunity
So here's the real problem.
Between you and your significant other
The person you saw
Is it the real him?
Or the story that emerged after your alaya seed was activated
Every emotional reaction you have in a family relationship
What is the reality of the moment driving?
Or is an unresolved pattern from your childhood repeating itself?
If you can really take this problem into your own life
Even if it's just for a week
Your significant other, your children, your parents
Changes you can't imagine
This issue comes to an end here
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
What do you think about the Buddha leaving home?
You are in your own marriage or intimate relationship
Have you ever had one of those moments where I suddenly realized that it wasn't the person I loved?
Welcome to let me know in the comment area.
What topic would you like to hear in the next issue?
You can also leave a message to tell me.
I just want to leave you with one final question.
If the love between two people is essentially the mutual activation of seeds
So think about it.
When your love for someone is truly gone
Because he has changed
Or because of the seed in your Alaya consciousness that activated him?
You've used it up yourself.
This question
We'll save it for the next issue.
I am Wang Lijie
See you next time.